


Variations of Ice

by selfmanic



Series: Head Cannon - Steve Rogers [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Hiding Medical Issues, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Pre-Relationship, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:50:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfmanic/pseuds/selfmanic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why does Steve always come across as very naive and uneducated? Why would the serum buff up his body and not his mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Tower

**Author's Note:**

> The stories posted in this series are separate and not related beyond how Steve Rogers is pictured in my mind ;-)
> 
> Please check the other chapters as you go, I often backtrack and make extensive revisions. This work has been altered several times now.  
> -Every Chapter has had small tweaks and corrections made (10.16.13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve settles into the tower.

Steve sighed as he poured himself another glass of water. Stark had finally convinced him to join the rest of the team in Avengers tower and he was already regretting it. He had no need for the massive floor Stark assigned him. After growing up with next to nothing and then the rationing during the war he could only see how much was wasted in modern life, space, food, money, it was all thrown away with abandon.

After waking up in Shield for the first time, he stayed at the base until he found a small one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. He moved to the tower after digging what he could of his things out of the rubble and tried to ignore the fact that Stark would not take any money for rent. He had Jarvis donate the same amount he had been paying for his apartment to the Maria Stark Foundation for Orphans each month instead. It really did not seem like enough.

He returned to New York after a few days of traveling to help rebuild, there was simply too much to do for him to stay away long with his hometown in ruins, his apartment included. He spent most of the daylight hours helping move rubble and assisting Shield where he could with rounding up alien weapons and bodies. It took several days before Shield managed to get machinery in to move the massive whale like creatures out to a dumpsite in upstate New York where they would be studied before being incinerated along with the rest of the aliens.

He only needed a few hours sleep a night since the serum leaving him with too many hours at a punching bag or staring at the walls of his small apartment. At the tower he filled his nights with reading or watching films, trying to catch up on the 70 years of history and education that he had missed. At least in this, living at the tower was an improvement since he could get Jarvis to help research different terms or concepts and display the relevant information.

Living with two geniuses meant that he was constantly writing down different words to look up later that night when they descended into technobabble at the dinner table the few times they could be pulled away from their labs. He picked up science textbooks at used bookstores and Jarvis helped him work his way through the exercises, explaining the experiments and showing videos of others doing the same projects. He also worked on his French and German with Jarvis while he sketched or worked on learning more military history and strategy. It was nice to have the time and space to learn. He picked up everything that was thrown at him during the war but most of the time it was done exhausted and hungry while fighting to stay alert until his watch was over or in the midst of marching to a new location.

Surprisingly, Darcy, Dr. Foster’s assistant, was becoming a friend since she and her boss moved into the tower. The young woman was more than willing to spend a few hours a day introducing him to the latest changes in music or entertainment, catching him up on pop culture and going with him to visit museums or clubs about town. They traveled around town getting Steve and Darcy, herself, used to New York and learning where the best shops were.

She was the one who noticed that he rarely ate with the others, preferring to cook his own meals, not that he could cook much at first. Since he woke from the ice, he fought with the way foods he used to eat didn’t taste the same. They had a chemical or metallic aftertaste that no one else seemed to notice or just didn’t mind. Stark’s processed junk foods were the worst. Bruce at least tried to use fresh vegetables in his indian dishes but his meals were always vegetarian and sometimes Steve just craved meat.

Darcy began researching recipes and helping him order pots and things for the small kitchen on his floor. She took him to the early morning farmer’s markets and stayed to sample each dish he made.  She showed him how there was a national movement to go back to slower ways he had been raised with and less processed foods. That people were trying to get out of the push for modernization and instead were picking up old hobbies like knitting and gardening. He started a small garden on the balcony of his apartment in pots and soon had his own herbs and tomatoes to use in his cooking.

Steve did his best to ignore the random things that turned up in his space. Apparently, Stark really was that nosy and used Jarvis to find out what his tenants liked and then filled their floors with unasked for items. He now had shelves filled with cookbooks and books on gardening, more kitchen appliances than he knew what to do with and a note on the fridge to let Jarvis know what to order for his floor in organic vegetables. He had Jarvis send most of the appliances back or to send them to the other floors for the others to use.


	2. Life goes on.

Steve had no intention of using Jarvis to get his groceries, he spent most of his early morning running loops through the city side streets and parks before stopping at a farmers market. He liked getting up early and wander the farmers markets and stalls, meeting everyone and asking about the different vegetables and meats while the stalls were being set up each morning. He would jog back to the tower with his purchases in a backpack he picked up with Clint and Darcy at a military surplus store.

Darcy recruited the archer to help them go shopping at several stores that sold retro clothing since Clint was used to living in New York and could help them navigate the subway. Surprisingly, the reserved archer shopped alongside him picking up a few shirts and things as they went through the stores. After picking out new shirts, pants, shoes, and a few suits for Steve they headed to their next stop. Clint insisted they go to a Military Surplus store for some combat boots and tactical gear for training before Darcy shoved the two of them into a men's department store for a few gym outfits and other basics. Thus outfitted he felt much more comfortable heading out to lunch with Darcy or lazing around the tower with the other Avengers on game night.

Clint started joining him cooking most nights when they were not having a team dinner or movie night.  It was clear the archer was unbalanced with his constant partner’s no longer at his side, Natasha was out on a long term mission and Sitwell was rarely at the tower choosing to stay in his office on base. He was surprisingly a really good cook. He learned to cook at a close to professional level for a mission with Natasha and happily helped Steve learn knife skills in the kitchen and showed him how to make a few easy dishes.

They worked on languages over dinner, Clint was surprisingly good at German and Russian but his French was horrible. Darcy was passible in Spanish and was willing to learn whatever they wanted to work on. Clint started teaching him and Darcy American Sign Language in return for working with Steve on his French. They even managed to drag Bruce out of the lab for dinner once or twice and he was a fun if subdued dinner companion, full of dry restrained wit that had Darcy in stitches for most of the meal as he taught them phrases in several Indian languages.

Jarvis’ latest trick was to create textbooks for him on information that he could not find in textbook form. A plain black textbook would arrive with an embossed title on the spine and no other distinguishing features. He took them to cafes all over town, curling up in an armchair and reading while the coffee drinkers bustled around him. The subjects varied wildly, from concise explanations of molecular physics to current sexual practices and terminology.

Darcy dragged him out to small crowded Jazz clubs where he could grab a corner and let the sound of the crowd and music wash over him. His mother had played piano and he had many fond memories of the lessons she had given him over the years before they had to leave their piano behind in a move. On a whim he bought an old upright and had Clint help him sneak it into the tower, after all with 70 years of back pay he might as well enjoy himself a bit. It was a great stress relief to reacquaint himself with the instrument and work on new material.

The construction and clean up was starting to wind down leaving Steve with more time on his hands during the day. Shield instituted a once a month team training day on the last Saturday of each month however the efforts of most of the team were half hearted, Stark did not even bother to show up. Clint was doing what he could to assist the battle but not even he could be everywhere when half the team was not present or only putting forth a token effort.

Thor remained in Asgard for the time being with Dr. Jane Foster working on a way to repair the bifrost from this end so he could travel more easily between the realms. Bruce was reluctant to use the Hulk in training situations until a good method of tranquilizing him could be created and tested, meaning he sat out the session. Natasha had just gotten back from a month long mission and was exhausted but gamely tried to assist as she could.

The entire thing was a disaster and they all had to sit through a meeting the next day where Sitwell pointed out each area they had failed in. Stark at least attended this meeting yet spent the entire time typing on his phone sipping at a scotch with Clint staring daggers at him from the back of the room. For all their talk of coming together they were still not a team and Steve was not sure what to do to pull them together. He was not even sure most of the team liked each other.

The next few weeks were painful as the team continued to bicker and push at each other.  Steve and Clint got along mainly because they were both content to hang around the other in silence, only talking when it was truly needed. Bruce spent most of his time in the lab preferring to spend most of his time alone. Natasha was still working through her fear of being around Bruce and the Hulk after the attack on the helicarrier so they generally tried to avoid pressing for her to attend meals or watch movies where the others were present. Clint was spending most of his time with Natasha since she was preparing to leave on another long term mission in the next week. They might live and work together but it did not mean that they spent enough time together to even know anything about each other.

Steve was finally starting to enjoy his life again, he had friends, purpose, a team to lead and a new world to learn about. Of course something had to bring that to an end, he was under it all still the skinny kid from brooklyn waiting for the next asthma attack or bully to corner him. He just never expected it to be one of his teammates.


	3. Arguments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stark was an ass. It was an acknowledged fact of life in the tower.

Stark was an ass. It was an acknowledged fact of life in the tower. His fondness for parties and alcohol had at least been tempered a bit with the addition of his girlfriend, Miss Pepper Pots. It was when she was out of town or Tony was left to his own devices for too long that things went downhill.

He liked poking at things until he got a reaction whether it was a machine or a person. It drove Steve crazy with how the man was constantly trying to get a rise out of his team members. Steve ignored most of it but it still had resulted in several loud arguments between him and Stark that at so far had not come to blows. The man seemed to delight in seeing just what it would take to make each of them snap. He poked at Steve and Clint the most since nothing he did seemed to bother Bruce much. Clint had ignored most of the prodding until Stark hacked everyone’s records while Pepper was out of town at a conference. He started asking Clint about different events in his life over dinner one night.

“You have a deathwish, Stark?” Clint snapped, tossing down his napkin and pushing away from the table.

“Pardon? Well, it’s debatable, depends on the day.” Stark said with a smirk, refilling his glass.

“You are living in a building with two master assassins, a combat veteran, and a man who turns into a giant green rage monster. How exactly does pissing us off factor in to you having a good time?”

“Please, what are you going to do, snark me to death? I’ve read your files and beyond a massive issue with authority you don’t have a lot of missions to your name.” That made Clint laugh nastily.

“Really? The mighty Stark, computer genius, couldn’t figure out how Shield files its mission reports? I’m shocked.”

“I beg to differ, I have your files, I have everyones files.”

“You have Hawkeye’s files. I have done hundreds of missions for Shield. Each asset is assigned to the file for the mission by their codename. I have dozens of codenames, Stark. I have more missions on my docket than any other field agent in Shield.”

“So you’re a killer. Not exactly a plus in my book, Katniss.” Stark pointed out, draining his drink and pouring himself another.

“I maybe the one who pulls the trigger, Stark, but my real job is to watch. I’m the eyes on high making sure nothing screws up and you know what I see? A coward who is too self absorbed and manic to make friends. Someone who lashes out at everyone around him trying to get their attention. After all, bad attention is still attention, isn’t it, Stark.”

“Hey, maybe we should drop this.” Bruce tried to interrupt, backing up to lean against the wall, he wasn’t willing to chance the Hulk getting unleashed should they come to blows with him in the middle.

“Coming from a orphan circus freak with Daddy issues, that means nothing.” Stark snapped, talking over Bruce. Steve winced at the slight drunken sway, Stark could hold his liquor so he had to be beyond tipsy to be showing a reaction. “Fury let you blow him for a mission well done?” Clint out right snarled at that, almost vibrating in place.

“Come on.” Steve said grabbing the archer and forcing him back, placing himself in front of Stark. “That’s enough, Stark.”

“Of course, Captain America is going to step into save the day. Don’t even get me started on you, Spangles.”

“No, by all means, go ahead. Let us know exactly what you think.” Steve said, just wanting to get this over with. Stark would just keep pushing until they snapped anyway.

“Haven’t we already had this conversation. The one where I said playboy, genius, yada yada, and you kept saying I needed to suit up? I was sure we had.” He said getting up and gesturing wildly.

“You seem to need to get it out of your system. So tell me, Stark. What do the files say about me?”

“For you, Sparkles, I didn’t even need the files. Howard was a fan.” he said with a sneer, “I donated a massive collection of junk he collected about you to some museum a few years ago. Still have boxes full of the crap in storage somewhere.” Stark mused sipping at his ever present drink. “He funded the search for you until he died and the company continued to fund the search until that oil rig crew found you. I heard all about you growing up and how no one else could measure up, how perfect you were.” Stark sneered. “Funny how the work of two scientists took an asthmatic kid from Brooklyn and turned him into a sideshow freak who was willing to sell war bonds and kiss babies for over a year before he finally put his ass on the line. Tell me, once you were the bigger man did you take it out on the bullies then? Head back to New York to break a few heads or were you still a bottom even in the army? Barnes must have been amazing in bed considering you threw yourself down on the wire to save him. But then, you were the one who lost him in the final battle anyway, right? Did you push him off the train yourself or was that just a happy accident?” Steve gave a small sigh as the other man finally seemed to wind down.

 

“You done?” He asked, taking a step forward and forcing the smaller man to give ground. “Good. You can do whatever you like with the floor. I have no intention of being on a team with someone who is willing to use a someone’s past to tear his own team members down.” Steve said, his body automatically falling into parade rest for a breath as he tried to control his breathing before he was moving across the floor. “Bruce, Clint.” he said with a small nod, shouldering past Stark.

He heard the argument starting back up behind him as he took the stairs up to his rooms and could not bring himself to care, he was done playing babysitter for a man who didn’t even want to be on the team. He stuffed a duffle with his clothes and a few basics before he emptied his pockets, leaving all his Stark electronics behind. Jarvis was silent as he rode the elevator down and started up his motorcycle.

Less than an hour later he had a hotel on the other side of town. Dumping his gear he changed and went for a run, pushing himself hard. He knew he would not be able to outrun the nightmares but maybe he could at least delay them for a while.

He only got three hours of sleep late that night before he was up and running again. He had no idea how many miles he had run when he finally got back to his rooms late the second night. He knew he was probably pushing himself too hard but all he could see when he closed his eyes were the images from his dreams; Bucky broken against the rocks, different members of his team tangled in razor wire as he was forced to claw and belly crawl his way over them to get through a never ending gauntlet of machine gun and mortar fire while his new and old team members watched without expression to one side. 


	4. Iron Chef

Steve made it another two days before he returned to his rooms to find Clint sitting on the foot of the bed watching TV.

“You here for business or pleasure?” he asked as he pulled off his sweat soaked t-shirt and went into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door. It seemed useless to push for privacy when the assassin had already broken into his hotel room.

“Bit of both. Bruce was worried when we realized you’d left your phone at the tower. Sitwell wanted to remind you that we still have the next training session in two weeks and he gave me a phone to give you in case we have an emergency requiring the team.

“I need to go in to talk to him and Fury anyway, just trying to decide what I’m going to say.”

“Bruce and I have been talking about moving out.” Clint offered, setting a card on the bed next to the small black phone. “I have a safe house in town. It’s only two bedrooms but you’re welcome if you need a place to stay.”

“Good, maybe it’ll knock some sense into Stark’s head.” Steve said with a sigh. “He does know that he’s pushing everyone away from him, right?”

“Yeah, can’t say it’s intentional or not but it’s a pattern with Stark. He tries to buy people since no one is willing to put up with him being an ass for long. That didn’t work with us since we were there for the team and not for him. The man has more issues then Time Magazine, Steve. It was bound to happen eventually.” Clint scrubbed his face with his hands.

“Yeah, but it leaves us back fighting individually or only fighting together on missions which could get messy fast. His drinking is going to get him killed one day. What if we get called out while he’s smashed? He’s a liability in the field right now.”

Clint gave a nod of agreement but didn’t have an answer to any of their problems to offer. Finally he just changed the subject.

“I can get behind less publicity personally. Let Stark be the figurehead while the rest of us work in the background. Spies aren't exactly built to be social by nature.”

“Natasha’s not exactly antisocial, not when she wants something and Stark would be a publicity nightmare with how he’s going. Bruce might could do it if we got the public to see that the Hulk does more than just smash things.”

“Bruce would be fun for PR, we’d never get him out of his lab. Plus he’s still got a lot of resentment from the Military from that incident in Brooklyn. Face it Cap, you or Stark are our best bet for news coverage. Natasha and I need to stay out of the limelight so we can keep doing undercover work, Bruce is too shy, and Thor is out of pocket.”

“Great, between me or a drunk.” Steve said with a snort, trying not to imagine the news conferences he was going to have to field.

He could not reconcile how Stark acted compared to his father, Howard. The man he had known had been intelligent and a bit of a womanizer but he never flaunted his wealth in the trenches or belittled the soldiers he worked with. He had read the files and knew Howard turned into a bitter drunk during the time Steve was in the ice, devoting all his time to his company and little to life and family. A bitter man who had left behind his broken son when he and his wife died. Now the Avengers were left trying to deal with a drunk and broken man who lashed out at everyone around him.

 

“Anyway, Natasha’s trained to work undercover but it would be up to her and Shield if they wanted her more in the news. I can do undercover but I hate losing myself in the cover, leaves me feeling like crap for weeks afterward while Tasha just seems to bounce back.” Clint said letting his body fall back on the bed as Steve came out of the bathroom to grab a new shirt. “We are literally trained to not trust anyone but our team. Stark got himself blacklisted from my safe list and probably Tasha’s once she gets back. Hell, I've had Stark in my sites several times for ops, makes it hard to think I could have pulled the trigger some days.”

“What about Hawkeye?” Steve put in settling at the headboard, legs stretched out alongside Clint. He could not get used to how much bigger beds seemed to be, he kept waking up crammed into a ball or against the wall. “You said it exhausts you to keep cover but you wear a mask 90% of the time you’re around people.”

“Frankly, most people never notice...Coulson kept pushing me to drop the act around more people so I decided to try with you guys. We were supposed to be a team anyway right?”

“Yeah, but why do it?” Steve pressed as gently as he could. He knew Clint had been close to Agent Coulson and was still grieving the loss of the man, even if it was in his own quiet way.

“Assassins and mercs use every tell a person has. We memorize every detail so that if we have to take someone around us out we know how to do it in an instant. I’ve been doing this for so long that it’s just second nature when I meet someone to be Hawkeye since he doesn’t have the same tells as Clint Barton.”

“Being willing to open up to others does mean that they have more chances to hurt you.” Steve acknowledged with a sigh. “I am glad I got to met you, Clint.”

“Thanks, Steve.” Clint said with a small upside down grin. “Now...since we have bromanced enough for the next decade, do you want to watch Iron Chef and get some takeout brought up? I know you normally don’t eat after you exercise but I’m starving.” Clint offered already bouncing up to pull some takeout menus from his messenger bag.

“Sure, order whatever you want. It’s on me.” Steve said with a small smile as the other man began dialing.

Clint ordered enough Chinese to feed a small family or just two very hungry men. Steve realized he had not really been eating since he arrived at the hotel, only stopping once or twice during the day for water. Once the food arrived he managed to put several containers away while Clint critiqued the current challenger’s technique and menu, lamenting the lack of bacon in their cooking, and even their choice of clothes for the show.

Steve fell asleep sometime around midnight to the Agent snarking at the latest cooking show that was on while nibbling an eggroll. He woke late the next morning to a clean, yet empty room, Clint had disposed of the leftover chinese and taken out the trash when he left. Steve sighed and forced himself to get out of the warm bed. It was time to get things moving.

After a long shower and stopping at a cafe for a quick coffee and pastry, he called Shield to arrange a meeting. Unsurprisingly, he was informed that he could come at any time, Sitwell was all but bending over backwards to accommodate him which just made him twitchy. It was never a good thing when a covert government agency was trying to be nice to you.


	5. Housing

Steve strode through the corridors of Shield heading toward one of the mid-sized conference rooms early the next morning. He really wasn’t surprised when he came in to find Clint and Bruce already talking to Sitwell and sipping drinks.

“Well, surprisingly I already have a solution to most of the issues I have been hearing about.” Sitwell said with a small grin once Steve sat down. “Stark contacted me last night to let me know that he is moving to his Malibu house for the next few months. He wants more time to work on his designs. You’re welcome to continue to use the tower to live or train at.”

“Is he still on the team?” Bruce pressed, clearly uncomfortable being the one to ask, shifting in his chair.

“As of right now, yes. Stark will not be attending any training activities and asks not to be contacted unless the world is ending.” Sitwell said with a snort. “It’s up to you three if you want to stay on base, in the city, or at the Tower. I’ll leave you to hash it out but if you choose to stay on base I need to know so rooms can be arranged, off base I just need to know the address.” he said, gathering up his paperwork and heading toward the door. Steve glanced at the others as the Agent left, Clint gave them a slight smile.

“Sitwell has never believed in wasting time.” Clint said with a small grin.

Bruce gave a sigh, cradling his mug of tea.“What do you think? Move back to the tower or stay as we are?” he asked with a resigned look.

“I’d like to stay close to base so we have a place to workout and spar safely but you guys don’t have to.” Steve said.

“Frankly, the safe house I have is a bit of a dump. It was only meant to be used for a few days at a time really. I was thinking of finding somewhere else.” Clint put in softly, tearing at the paper of his empty coffee cup.

“The tower is the safest place if I have an incident.” Bruce put in gently, “That or staying on base but being around people in uniform puts the Hulk on edge.” he said hands worrying at the edge of his cuff.

“What if we went and discussed it with Jarvis? Made sure he and Stark understand where we are coming from?” Clint snorted at that.

“Stark just abandoned the team. I really doubt he cares.”

 

Later back at his hotel Steve pushed the archer to move back with him and Bruce.

“I don’t want Bruce alone in the tower.”

“Yeah, those science types, forget to feed themselves if you don’t pull out the taser now and again.” Clint said in a deadpan voice, clearly quoting someone. “No, I get it. We will all be in one central location for training and I need to be on hand to help tranq the Hulk if he shows up. Plus Bruce has been assisting Jane in the labs and Darcy said they were under contract with Stark. Just feels like we are giving up too easily.”

Steve gave a small nod. He had felt bad for leaving Jane and Darcy in the tower while the rest of the team had left but thankfully Stark had not taken anything out on them in the fall out. He would be heading back to the tower at the end of the week since he had already paid for the full week. He fully expected to have a long day of dealing with Darcy hearing exactly how he had worried her and how she was going to take it out of his hide.


	6. A Bad Day

Steve knew today wasn’t going to be a good day. He woke from dreams of icy water to the groan of the old heater in the hotel and snow whiting out his windows. He shuddered, half forgotten memories surfacing of icy water pouring in, closing over his head.

Most people seemed to forget that he had been talking to Peggy when the plane crashed. He was pinned in the wreckage, fighting to clear his head when the water started pouring in. He fought the embrace of iron and steel wrapping his legs as the water slid higher and higher numbing his limbs and making his cuts burn as the icy salt water claimed him. He had no idea how long he held his breath before he was forced to gasp, drawing water in to replace the air in his lungs, writhing as it burned, god it hurt. As the plane sank, the light steadily dimmed until he was entombed in black icy water, thrashing as his body slowly went numb, the world narrowing down to the sound of his heart beat until finally even that slid into darkness. He did not wake until seventy years later.

Most days he could forget that everyone he ever knew was long dead. Shield had given him the files not long after he woke up. The Commandos mostly continued the good fight even if it was in a small town or community instead of on the battlefield once the war was over. Several of them joined Shield in the search to find Steve until they were too old to continue. There was a list of descendants for most of them but Steve had no desire to meet the children and grandchildren of his friends.

On mornings like this his mother would have given him a cup of tea and bundled him up in blankets, curling next to him and read with him. Mornings like this at the orphanage or later when he and Bucky shared a room meant sleeping in if they could or fighting to keep warm as they scrounged what work they could on the streets. Mornings like this during the war meant waking up to icy rutted roads and the steady tramp of boots as they marches or hunkered down in ditches of freezing mud until the enemy had passed. None of those were appropriate now.

He could feel the banked rage and anger deep in his chest making him want to break things and howl out his outrage. How could they have left him? It built up in the back of his throat, settling in his chest like acid.

“Everything special about you came out of a bottle.” whispered in the back of his mind as he forced himself up and out of bed. Making the bed out of habit and getting dressed on autopilot, he was stumbling down the stairs and out into the cold for his run before his brain registered the change. Everything special about him came out of a bottle. A bottle that made him strong enough to fight yet cost him everything he had ever known or loved in the end.

He ran through the falling snow, it didn’t matter where he was going as long as he was moving. His movements felt sluggish and heavy as he pounded along the sidewalk. He came back to himself as he was halfway across an ice covered bridge, snow whiting out the world beyond a few feet away. Slowing to a stop and leaving against a snow covered railing he watched the black water far below.

It was so tempting some days. It would be easy enough to get a flight somewhere icy and cold, to walk out into the woods or water until the ice and cold pulled him back down. He could just lay down and let the years pass him by again until he got to a time he was actually needed.

Peggy would have shot him for even thinking that way, he acknowledged with a small huffing laugh. Taking one last look at the dark water below he began the long walk back to his hotel. He might as well check out and head to the tower, there at least he had a punching bag waiting its imminent destruction.


	7. Back to the Tower

Steve made his way to the tower, trudging through the grey slush and falling snow. He spent most of the walk lost in memories of his last winter in the trenches. Entering by the back service elevator he scanned his thumb and pressed for his floor once he had stomped most of the ice off his boots.

“Good morning, Jarvis.” he murmured once he was in the elevator.

“Good morning, Captain Rogers.”

“Have things been okay?”

“The tower systems are running optimally as ever, Captain Rogers. Both Master Banner and Agent Barton are currently sleeping in their rooms. Master Stark is still in his Malibu residence.”

“Is he doing alright, Jarvis? I know he’s going through some things but it can’t help to isolate himself the way he is.”

“I have expressed similar opinions to Master Stark however he is determined to continue as he always has. He has been most erratic since Miss Potts ended their relationship.”

“She broke up with him? Hell, I knew she hadn’t been around much but I thought it was business trips. No wonder Stark’s been off the rails. Will you let me know if he needs us, Jarvis? Even if it’s just to make sure he has someone to talk to or to get him out of the lab now and then.”

“Thank you, Captain. I will keep that in reserve for now but will inform you if Master Stark is in need.” he said as the doors to the elevator opened.

“Thanks, Jarvis.” Steve said wandering into his rooms and toeing off his wet boots and socks. Changing into a thick sweater and jeans he turned on the fire and sifted through the stack of black bound books sitting to one side on the kitchen counter.

“Captain Rogers, I do not mean to be insensitive but my latest scans show that you have lost a fair amount of weight in the last two weeks. Is there anything I can do to assist you in correcting this deficit?”

“I’m fine, Jarvis. Just not sleeping very well and exercising a bit too much. It makes a difference thanks to my metabolism, I should put the weight back on in no time.”

“I understand, please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist.”

“Of course, Jarvis. I actually wanted to talk to you about Stark if you are willing. I know he is your creator and you might have rules in place about it but I can’t seem to wrap my head around how different and yet how alike he is to Howard. I’ve read the files and I know Howard was not a good father to Stark but he’s nothing like the younger Howard that I knew during the war.” Steve said in a rush, moving to perch on one arm of the couch.

“If I may, Captain, I can say that Master Stark’s childhood was very different from that of his father, Howard Stark. While Master Stark grew up in a wealthy family and had little to worry about in material goods he did have other issues. Master Stark was kidnapped three times before he was fifteen in efforts to extort money from his father and the Stark company. He was forced to change school multiple times because of these incidents and rarely had close friends after the father of one such friend participated in one of the kidnappings.”

“Christ, he’s had everyone he let close to him try to use him. He loses his parents and then Stane betrayed and tried to kill him. He has no reason to trust anyone with his track record.”

“Exactly, sir. Master Stark does not trust lightly. I had hoped that he would be able to enjoy spending time with the team considering your centralized location but he continued to push everyone away. The removal of Miss Potts from his life seems to have aggravated his extreme reaction to yourself and the team.”

“We were trying to keep the team together but it always seemed like he was pushing us away. Where does the drinking come in, Jarvis? I know his father was a drinker but frankly he drinks more than anyone else I know.”

“Master Stark turned to alcohol after his parents passed away. Obadiah Stane was not interested in keeping Master Stark in a stable condition and he enabled his addiction.”

“And once Stane was gone Miss Potts helped keep him level, at least once he got over the poisoning thing. Now that she’s gone there’s nothing to stabilize him. Is there anything we can do? I understand needing space away to regroup but he is coming back right?” Steve pressed.

“I cannot say what Master Stark is planning. I can say much of his current drinking patterns may be from an attempt at pain management. He has been researching a way to remove the arch reactor in his chest and the shrapnel it is controlling.”

“Shit, he tore out half his chest to get it in there. Of course it hurts, Christ.” Steve winced to think that half the times Stark had been drunk had been because he was in a massive amount of pain. It made sense that if he was self medicating he would have to be drinking nearly constantly considering his already high tolerance. He also would be avoiding physical activity since his lungs were probably partly compromised which was why he missed the training sessions.

“Why didn’t he tell us, Jarvis? I get him not wanting to seem weak but we needed to know that he was having issues. What if we went out as a team and he had some kind of complication?”

“I doubt I would be able to convince Master Stark to confide such information.”

“He was never allowed to show weakness, was he?”

“I highly doubt it, Captain.”

“Can you at least monitor him while he’s fighting or even just in the tower and let me know if he needs help?”

“I can do so, however if Master Stark asks about it I will have to answer him.”

“I don’t want to hide it from him, Jarvis. I just want to make sure someone is there to help him if he needs it.”

“I shall endeavor to do my best, Captain Rogers.”

“That’s all any of us can do, Jarvis. Thanks.”

 

With a sigh Steve gathered up his bag and started to unpack. Tucking his phone onto the bedside table he gave a groan when it the screen lit up showing the time, 3am. He should really try and get some sleep, he would have to wait to talk to the rest of the team until morning at least.

He glanced at the bed and smothered another sigh, he might as well try, some sleep was better than none, right? Crawling onto the bed he did not bother with the covers, the room was warm from the fire still burning in the next room. Settling on his stomach he curled in on himself trying to get his spinning mind to slow. Stark might be more of an ass than his father had been but he was just as broken as the rest of the team, maybe they just needed to get him to see it. He shivered lightly, shifting to burrow deeper into the soft mattress as he slowly drifted into sleep, his dreams sliding into icy water.


	8. Morning

Steve woke with a gasp, his entire body shaking. He fought his way off the bed, hitting the floor and belly crawling on instinct to a corner. He was shaking so hard it hurt, he could feel the tension wracking his body, muscles stretched tight across bone. He fought to take deep breathes past the bands of steel wrapping his chest.

“Captain Rogers, do you require assistance?” Jarvis asked gently, slowly bringing the lights in the room up.

“No, I’m ok.” Steve managed to stutter after a minute, the shudders slowly giving way as his head cleared.

See, you’re in New York, not on the plane. There’s no ice, you’re fine. He chanted it to himself mentally as he forced himself to stagger to his feet and make his way to the shower. He forced himself into the shower, fighting against the instinctive recoil when the water hit his chin. It was just the shower, still in New York, not on the plane. Turning and leaning against the tile he let the heat of the water wash over him. Grabbing a washcloth he scrubbed at his skin until it hurt, see still alive.

Getting out he carefully dried himself before cleaning the bathroom and hanging all the towels back up. Going to his bedroom he got dressed and carefully straightened out the rumpled sheets on the bed. He glanced around but nothing was out of place.

It was five o’clock in the morning and there was no way in hell he was going back to sleep. Pulling on his boots he was surprised to find that they were warm and dry. Gathering up his wallet and phone he pulled on a jacket, zipping it up even if he didn’t really need to, people tended to notice if someone was running and not dressed for the weather.

“Jarvis, you busy?”

“Captain Rogers, how can I assist you?”

“Can you send a text or something to my phone at 8am if I’m not back by then? I want to join the others for breakfast.”

“Of course, Captain. I will be happy to do so. Would you like me to alert the others that you are back?”

“Sure, once they get up. Thanks, Jarvis.”

“You are most welcome, Captain.”

Steve gave a distracted nod as he jogged down the stairs. Outside the snow was still falling and the streets were mostly abandoned as he moved along at a steady pace, whispers and memories murmuring at the back of his mind as his body moved at a steady ground covering run. He was not aware of the cameras that tracked his path as Jarvis kept an eye on his house guests. Jarvis was instructed by his creator to treat the other Avengers the same as he did him. From what he could see, the others might need watching as much as his creator did. The Captain had offered to help if it was needed and Jarvis often wished to have hands of his own to assist with his creator, he would have to gather more information. He set several of his servers humming as he started gathering more information on the members of the Avengers Initiative.

Steve’s phone pinged at eight o’clock on the dot, pulling him from his relentless pace and the memories that played across his mind. He slowed to a walk, pulling out his phone to glance at the time. With a nod he glanced up, hailing a passing cab that by some miracle pulled to a stop and waited for him to get in. Ten minutes later he was dropped off at the tower. Making his way to the elevator he murmured a quick thanks to Jarvis before stepping off onto his floor to get cleaned up.

“Captain, Master Banner and Agent Barton have yet to have breakfast. Agent Barton is in the gym and Master Banner is showering.”

“Can you let them know that I am going to make breakfast on the common level if they want to join me?”  
“Of course. Master Banner and Agent Barton have both agreed and will meet you there in half an hour.”

“Perfect. Thanks, Jarvis.”

Steve quickly changed and washed up before heading down to see what was in the kitchen. It had been a while since he had cooked in the common level kitchen, normally Bruce used that kitchen or Tony stumbled through to get his caffeine fix but they rarely had real meals on the common floor, mainly living off the takeout that Stark called out for. Maybe that should be something they changed, Steve mused as he started pulling out possible ingredients for omelets and laying them out, they could decide what they wanted once they came down.

Clint strangely seemed to watch what he ate more than the rest of the team and somedays would only eat fruit and vegetables or low calorie things like salads. At other times he would happily stuff himself with pasta after a mission or long training session. Steve was fairly certain he was counting calorie expenditure or something. He would have to ask the archer eventually, Steve acknowledged, adding it to his mental to do list.

Steve was plating his own omelet when Clint wandered in, hair still wet from his shower. Placing a second plate on top to keep it warm he quickly started a second omelet going.

“What do you want in your omelet? We have a little of everything.”

“Umm...cheese, peppers, and mushrooms, I guess.” Clint said eyeing the spread with a frown.

“Something wrong?”

“It’s a waste of food. With only the three of us here most of this is going to go bad before we ever eat it.”

“I was thinking about trying to cook down here more. I can talk to Jarvis and see if we can decrease the amount of food delivered or something.”

“Yeah, that could work. We can rotate who cooks each meal maybe.”

“I get up early to run anyway so I don’t mind doing breakfast if you guys are up. We can trade out dinners, most of us are out of the tower for lunch anyway.” he said sliding a plate full of omelet in front of the archer.

“True.” Clint said taking a bite of his omelet before reaching for the pepper.

“What are we doing?” Bruce asked as he walked in. They explained with Bruce quickly agreeing to a rotating schedule of each of them cooking dinner with take out saved for once or twice a week. Bruce took his omelet with goat cheese, spinach, and tomatoes.

“I tend to skip breakfast or just do a yogurt unless I had an incident.”

“Amazing how many calories turning into a giant rage monster takes.” Clint deadpanned with a small grin to take away the sting. Bruce gave a humm of agreement as he took a bite.

“I might have to come to breakfast more often, this is really good.”

They spent the rest of the meal discussing various dishes they each loved, what they could cook, allergies and dislikes, and favorite meal of all time. It was fun, Steve reflected. He doubted the others had much time to have a normal relaxed meal.

“Do you know when Natasha is getting back?”

“No, it sounds like she’s going to be out of pocket a while. Sitwell said he would try and find a stand in from Shield if we have a major Avengers mission but we should be fine unless aliens attack again.”

“They would probably recall her if that happened.” Bruce pointed out as he stacked up the dishes in the dishwasher, easily setting up the machine. Steve watched, forcing himself to memorize the buttons the man hit, the appliances in the tower might be top of the line but they were never user friendly.

“With Stark and Thor out of pocket we might need all the help we can get.” Clint said with a sigh. “Do you want to do some sparring? I promise to go easy on you.” he offered with a smirk snagging two bottles of water from the fridge.

“Sure, might as well. You already worked out this morning right?”

“Yeah, planning to hit the range this afternoon.”

“Care to join us?” Steve asked Bruce, folding the rag he had used to wipe down the counters and leaving it next to the sink.

“No, but thank you. I have some tests I want to finish up in the lab. I’ll probably see you guys at dinner.” They separated, Steve and Clint taking the stairs down to the gym while Bruce caught the elevator to his lab.


	9. Stark Returns

They each went through their warm up routines for half an hour before heading to the central mat. Both taped their hands for the fight yet Clint had taped his feet as well. Steve started out worried about using his full strength against the only human on the team but was quickly disabused of that notion the fifth time he slammed into the mats.

It was intimidating to see the normally quietly cheerful man shut down into a blank mask. While Steve had learned to fight like a boxer, Clint fought with his entire body, lashing out with hands, feet, knees, elbows. He used every surface possible in precise powerful blows and throws that sent Steve tumbling around the mats or scrambling away until even he was covered in sweat and fighting for breath.

The smaller man might have not have the reach Steve did but he used his smaller size to allow himself to get in close to his opponent, using their larger heavier frames against them as he threw Steve to the mat again and again, over balancing him or using his own momentum against him. He also was ridiculously flexible and used moves that Steve had never seen before, leaping, twisting, and tumbling off the mats and walls as their fight ranged around the room. Finally Steve slammed into the mats and did not bother to get back up, he had no idea how long they had been sparring.

“You need to teach me some of those moves.” Steve said from his spot sprawled across a mat as he fought to slow his breathing down.

“Sure, we should do a few group sparring sessions once Tasha gets back so we get used to fighting around each other, using the openings we each provide.”

“That how you two fight?”

“All the time, against each other and back to back against others.”

“Think we could get Bruce down here to train? He could use some basic training incase we are in an area where the Hulk can’t come out.”

“Have to figure out how to word it. I’ll offer to teach him how to evade, get out of handholds, he might go for that more than actual sparring.”

“And fit some of the sparring moves in while you have him in the gym?”

“You know me so well.” Clint said with a grin.

“It’s what I would do.” Steve said rolling to his feet and grabbing one towel and tossing another at Clint. “You know he’ll know what we’re doing by the first session right?”

“Yeah, but once we show him he’s capable of it he should stick with it. The guy’s stubborn.”

“Like we’re not.” Steve said with a snort. “The entire team is made up of people too stubborn to die.”

“Jarvis, what time is it?” Clint asked wiping down his face and tugging his sweat soaked shirt away from his skin.

“It is currently ten to one o’clock, Agent Barton. You and Captain Rogers have been sparring for approximately four hours.”

“Good to know that even a super soldier can sweat.” Clint said, barking out a laugh as they made their way to their floors to get cleaned up.

***

Several weeks later they were all training in the gym each morning before breakfast. Natasha was still on her mission and it sound like she would be gone at least another two months. Bruce had started joining them before breakfast in the gym. Clint would walk him through a quick warm up and then show him several holds and how to break them with Steve as a demonstration attacker.

They learned that the mild man knew a lot about self defense but prefered to run instead of staying and fighting. Bruce turned vicious very quickly in his attempts to get out of a hold if the first move did not work. Clint fully approved and by the end of the first week Steve had been kicked, bitten, and stabbed with thumbs in more tender places than he was aware he even had.

Bruce continued to practice his meditation and yoga but he accompanied Clint and Steve on a short run showing off his skill at parkour to Clint’s delight. The two soon began to go on short runs in the afternoon if they both were free. Steve stuck to his morning runs, he just didn’t have the need to bounce off stationary objects at random angles that the other two enjoyed. He could do it if pressed but it made for a grueling run as he forced himself to try and replicate some version of the twisting vaults that the other men seemed to prefer. Clint claimed that Natasha would happily take Steve place  in the parkour group once she returned.

Steve thought the team had never been tighter. Now they just needed to get Stark to interact with them. So far the man had been unreachable in his Malibu home. According to the updates Steve requested from Jarvis every few days the man was slowly improving, drinking less and making rapid improvements on his armor and designs. Stark industries would be busy for years with the innovations he was churning out.

They got to find out a few days later just how well they would cope as the Avengers while down three members when a strange portal opened in the middle of central park and started to disgorge horse sized purple insects. The Hulk seemed to delight in the spray of green goo the bugs released when smashed, bouncing around the park to stomp as many as possible. Clint and Steve stationed themselves near the portal taking out the bugs as they exited while a Shield team worked on closing the portal.

Four hours later Stark arrived just as the portal closed in an explosion of sparks. Steve was head to toe green goo, absently trying to wipe off one hand while Hawkeye scanned the area from a helicopter trying to make sure there were no stragglers they had missed.

 

“Well, don’t you look lovely.” Tony said with a grin once his helmet retracted.

“Just don’t taste it.” Steve grumbled, absently wondering how much money he would be wasting if he burned his suit. “How we looking, Hawkeye?”

“Couple of bugs still of the west side of the park. Stark, you want to come join the party?”

“Sure, I can test out a few of my new toys.”

“Just no incendiaries, the blood burns rather well.”

“Oh, come on, that takes out half my armory.”

“Suck it up, Stark. I doubt we want to set half the park on fire. I’m sending up a flare.” A moment later a green flare sparked on the otherside of the park.

“On my way, Legolas.”

Two hours later they turned the scene over to Shield to finish up the clean up. The entire team had to go through decontamination showers, though Stark tried to beg off considering only the suit had been exposed. Sitwell insisted and soon they were all in the showers scrubbing down with five different kinds of soap. They met for a quick debrief once they were all out of the showers before being dismissed with a full review of the mission to happen the next afternoon.

 

“So, who’s for pizza?” Stark asked as they filed out into the common floor.

“Uh, sorry, I’m heading to bed. I think the Hulk might have tried to eat one of the bugs or something.” Bruce said with a shudder not bothering to exit the elevator where he was shakily leaning against one wall.

“Anyone else want to bail?” Tony asked glancing at the others.

“I’m always up for food.” Clint said wiping at a line of water running down the back of his neck. “Anyone want a beer?” he asked heading toward the fridge.

“Sure.” Steve said tiredly, settling down into one of the couches and flipping on the TV to the next movie in the list they had been working their way through.

“Since when do you drink?” Stark asked with a confused expression.

“Never said I didn’t, I just can’t get drunk so there’s not much point.”

“Only took a few months to corrupt a national icon.” Clint said with a smirk, handing Steve one of the microbrews he enjoyed. “What kind of pizza did you want to get?” he asked Stark, sprawling onto the otherside of the couch.

“Jarvis, how about two large of everything? We can munch on the leftovers tomorrow.”

“I will place the order now, sir.”

“Guess Bruce doesn’t have to cook dinner tomorrow. Might be a good thing considering how green he looked, no pun intended.” Clint put in, taking a swallow of his beer at the small frown Steve made as he glanced back at the elevator. He was sure the Captain would check on the man later tonight anyway.

“Wait a minute, you guys cook?” Stark interrupted looking between them.

“Yeah, we trade out nights if we are all going to be at the tower. Forces Bruce to get out of the lab and the rest of us to get out of the gym at a sane time each day. Steve normally does breakfast but we should probably scrap that the day post mission so everyone has a chance to sleep in.” Steve gave a small snort at that, making Clint add the rejoinder, “Ok, so everyone who is not Steve can sleep in.”

“Huh, you guys went and got domesticated while I was out of town. Shopping for rings yet?”

Clint opened his mouth to snap back but Jarvis had perfect timing as always, announcing the arrival of the first delivery of pizza. He called the order into several different places in order to ensure the optimal speed of delivery. A glance from Steve had Clint settling back into the cushions with his beer. They had decided as a group to give Stark a chance to get used to the team, even if it meant putting up with his needling for a few weeks until things settled down. Once the pizza had been retrieved they settled back in front of the TV with overflowing plates the questions continued.

 

“So what have you guys been up to while I was out beyond expanding your culinary experiences?”

“What, Jarvis didn’t keep you updated?” Clint asked around a mouthful of vegetarian pizza.  
“Pfft, why would I have him do that? He was instructed when you guys moved into make sure you were comfortable. That was the end of it.”

“So you weren’t the one who filled my apartment with cooking appliances?” Steve asked, setting his beer to the side to wipe his hands off.

“What?” Stark glanced up at the ceiling, “Jarvis, do we need to have another discussion on personal boundaries?”

“You did instruct me to treat the team the same as I do you, sir. You have never complained with my attempts to anticipate your needs.”

“Yeah, but you know me better. J, ask first, okay?” He said gesturing with his beer. “Listen if you don’t want something just tell him, he’ll arrange to send the stuff back or get something you do like.”

“We have been meeting most mornings to train in the gym if you're interested.” Clint said trying to get the conversation back on even ground. “Even Bruce has gotten on board.”

“Yeah, not exactly a morning person considering how late I tend to stay in the lab working. I might try and catch you if I’m up but I doubt it would be a regular thing.”

“Sure, no problem.” Clint said taking another bite of pizza and turning back to the movie.

“So what are we watching?” Stark asked, biting into his slice of pepperoni, cheese, and jalapeno.   
“Bruce decided that we needed to educate Steve on all the movies he missed while out of commision. Me, Bruce, Jarvis created a top 100 list of all movies we think he should see from the last 70 years.”

“See anything you like?”

“Clark Gable and that Hepburn woman were really good.”

“Audrey Hepburn, amazing actress. Jarvis, send the list to my Stark-pad so I can see what they’ve already watched.”  
“Of course, sir.”

The rest of the night passed rather well with the team disapearing to their floors once the movie credits started to roll. Steve stayed behind to put the rest of the pizza up and clean up the few bottles lying around the living room before heading to his own shower to get the rest the disinfectant smell from his skin. Maybe they would be able to hold things together after all, the real test would be once Natasha and Thor returned but they had a while yet before he had to worry about that outcome.

“Jarvis, did Bruce make it to his rooms?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers. He is currently asleep in bed.”

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers?”

“Thank you for the books and everything. I did not realize you were the one ordering everything. I do love the black textbooks you’ve been sending.”

“You have been progressing quite rapidly if I may say so, Captain. You would be able to sit exams for several classes if you so wished and easily earn a degree in several fields with the variety of subjects you are studying.”

“A degree? Huh. Let me think about it, Jarvis. Not sure I have time for college right now.”

“As you wish, Captain. If you like you could talk to Liaison Sitwell about it, Agent Coulson had arranged classes for the other agents under his care so that they are able to complete degrees while continuing to work for Shield.”

“Yeah, maybe I will. Thanks, Jarvis.”

“It is my pleasure, Captain.”

The next morning, Steve rolled out of bed at his normal four AM to go run. By the time he he got back around seven the dreams of ice were nothing but a distant blur. After his shower he headed to the kitchen and started a few batches of muffins since they would keep if no one else decided to get up early today. He ate several himself before heading to the gym to work out with a punching bag for a bit. Bruce sat to one side meditating before he started going through his yoga poses. Clint joined them not long after that stretching out and going to the mats to start a shadow fight before he went to the rings he had installed and began a gymnastics routine, his eyes closed as he concentrated on controlling every motion.

They separated to go get cleaned up and continue on with their day, agreeing to put off the afternoon sessions in the gym that day since they still had a debrief later that afternoon. Steve went to his rooms gathering a few books to take with him to a small cafe he had come to frequent. He was not sure if the  staff recognized him or not but they were always pleasant and welcoming no matter how long he stayed sipping at a large coffee. They had even talked him into trying different kinds of flavoring in his coffee so most days he just ordered whatever was on special before settling into a chair in the back to read.

Steve headed back to the tower for dinner, dropping his messenger bag on the counter while he got a glass of water and pulled out the various boxes of pizza. They had put a sizable dent in the pizza but there still was more than enough left for four people to eat for dinner. Setting out plates and a stack of cloth napkins he dropped onto a stool to wait and see if the rest of the team showed up.

“Jarvis, can you let the rest of the team know that dinner’s ready if they are?”

“Of course, Captain. Agent Barton is currently in a meeting with Shield Liaison Sitwell upstairs in the conference room. Liaison Sitwell would like to meet with the team to debrief after dinner.”

“Sounds good. Please let Sitwell know he is welcome to join us if he wants. Can you check and see if Darcy and Jane are free?” Steve asked moving to fix a quick salad to go with the pizza.

“I am afraid Dr. Foster and Miss Lewis have plans to go out for dinner tonight. They will try and join the team tomorrow night however.”

“That’s fine, Jarvis. I just wanted to offer.” Steve had gotten soundly chewed out by the brunette for leaving the tower without his phone and making her worry but within a day Darcy was back to sending him silly texts on his new phone and emailing him the websites for new jazz clubs she wanted to visit in the next few weeks.

The pizza was quickly demolished once everyone arrived with Clint and Bruce mainly eating salad along with a single slice while Stark and Steve finished off the pepperoni, meat lovers, and a few stray pieces of cheese pizza. They each grabbed a drink and headed toward the conference room afterward. The debrief thankfully was mostly painless, there was not much they could improve upon herding giant alien bugs. The technology that created the portal had been confiscated by Shield and the creator picked up and interrogated.  Stark was asked to assist in reverse engineering the technology with several crates of damaged electronics to be sent to his lab.

 

***

 

It was another two days before Steve managed to corner Stark in his labs. The engineer had been working long hours dissecting  the technology for Shield and finally seemed to have set it to the side, returning to his own personal projects. Steve grabbed a cup of coffee as a peace offering before he made his way down to the lab.

“Hey, Stark. Do you have a minute?”

“Sure, Cap. What do you need?” he asked taking a sip of coffee. “By the way, lose the Stark, it’s Tony.”

“Steve.” he said setting one hip against a nearby counter.

“What’s up, Steve? Listen if this is an intervention I really don’t need that kind of interruption right now.”

“It’s not an intervention and it might be none of my buisness but I was talking with Jarvis and he mentioned that you were looking to remove the arch reactor.”

“Yeah, still auditioning surgeons at the moment.”

“You’ll let us know if you need any help? Even if it’s just somebody to complain to, my door's always open.”

“Sure, Cap. I’ll keep you in the loop.” Tony said turning back to tinker at a circuit board on his workbench. “I might be out for a month or two once the surgery is a go. They’re going to have to wire most of my chest back together and replace the missing bone. Doubt I’m going to be able to wear the suit for a while until it heals up.”

“How are the suits going to be powered now that the reactor’s removed?”  
“They’ll have an internal reactor. I’m working with Jarvis to allow him to pilot the suits if I am not able to. He might be able to assist you if we get called out.”

“That’s good to know. We could have used you in the last battle.”

“I don’t know, looked to me that you were doing okay.”

“It would have been over in half the time if you had been there from the beginning.” Steve pointed out with a grin. “Don’t stay up too late, Tony.”

“Yes, Mom.” Tony called out as Steve left, tossing a grin over his shoulder.

 

“Damn.” Tony muttered, tossing the soldering wire back to the workbench. “Jarvis?”  
“Yes, sir?”

“Just how much does the team know about the surgery?”

“Captain Rogers is the only one who inquired as to why you were retiring to Malibu.”

“So the rest of the team thinks what...it was because of Pepper?”

“That is my interpretation of the situation, sir.”

“I’m going to have to tell Sitwell and the team once the date is set.”

“It would be prudent, sir.”

“How’s the build going on the hospital wing?”

“It should be completed and ready for use by the end of the week.”

“Good, I need to give everyone a walk through and see about hiring some basic staff that can be on call when we get called out. Might as well let the entire team use the floor, we all get banged up in the fights anyway.” Tony pressed against his chest for a moment. “I’m going to take some pain meds and crash on the couch down here, wake me up when the last simulation finishes running, J.”

“Of course, sir.” Jarvis said, dimming the lights and shutting off many of the consoles and holographic workstations that were not currently being used.

 


	10. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team has a small crisis and come together to deal with it.

 

The reveal of the hospital floor went surprisingly well. The team as a whole agreed that it was a good idea to have medical staff and equipment at the tower should they need it. Strangely the only one who had issues with it was Barton, he refused to vet any medical staff or use the facility until Natasha could run background checks on all the staff. In light of the massive argument that resulted, Tony postponed the reveal of his surgery until the next week when they had a team meeting.

Tony went back to his lab afterwards ignoring the looks that Bruce and Steve were giving him for skipping lunch. Barton had stormed off to the roof to calm down, no doubt one of the other two would go check on him in a while. A few quick programs later and he had most of the redacted files for the avengers team members. He and the others had been given files on the others but they were heavily redacted and censored when it came to the two Shield operatives.

He skimmed over Natasha’s file able to guess most of what she had went through while an operative for the Red Room. It was Barton’s file that shocked him. If there was a way to be abandoned or betrayed, it had happened to Clint Barton. He went from an abusive household with his parents to an abusive orphanage when they were killed in a car accident. He was betrayed by his brother and mentor in the circus and his other mentor abandoned him once he was injured. He worked as an assassin and sniper for a while, trying several times to join the army but was rejected over and over for various reasons. Eventually he found a home in Shield but continued to be benched by handler after handler until Coulson finally took him on.

Barton had an aversion to medical care thanks to multiple torture sessions consisting of being chained to a hospital bed or using medical equipment and one kidnapping that actually took him straight out of a small shield infirmary while he was sedated after surgery. Combine all that with a childhood of injuries from abuse that were rarely treated and indoctrination by his abusive father to avoid medical professionals meant that Barton would escape or avoid medical at all costs.

The only ones who seemed to get him to go and stay long enough to heal were Coulson and Natasha. With one dead and the other out of the country on a long term mission it was doubtful they would get the Agent into any kind of medical care anytime soon unless he was unconscious for most of it. Tony would talk to Bruce at least and see if he would at least be able to triage the Agent until they could talk him into accepting care from someone else. They would just have to hope that no one got severely injured before they managed to find someone everyone would accept as a physician.

 

Hours later Steve came down to the lab looking worried.

“We might have an issue, Tony.” he said, running one hand through his hair.

“What kind of issue? Technical, mechanical, or emotional?” he asked, tossing the wrench he was using on to the bench with a metallic clatter.

“Not sure.” Steve sighed. “It’s four in the morning and Clint has been either in the range or walking the floors like he’s on watch all night.”

“Great, we have an assassin stalking the halls while triggered for PTSD. Jarvis, wake Bruce up and ask him to join us. This is going to have to be a group effort.” Tony said, pulling off the grease covered shirt he was wearing and tugging on a marginally cleaner one.

“Group effort in what?”  
“Barton wants to make sure the tower is safe, right? Then we prove it to him. He triggered while the only person he really trusts to have his back, Natasha, is not here. We show him that we have his back. We break up the floors and each walk the parameter for the rest of the night, might have to do it for a few nights until he chills out.”

“That should work. I think both of them did that for their floors for a while after they moved in.”

“More like that and both of them sleeping in front of the doors or in closets for the first few weeks.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“Because what you do in your own floors is private. The only reason I know at all is because Jarvis alerted me to their behavior, he was concerned they might get injured if someone opened the door or if they fell off a shelf while asleep. I told him to give it a few weeks and see if they improved. They did so I let the matter drop.”

“Let what drop?”

“The sleeping habits of assassins.” Tony said scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Lets go to the common floor and get some coffee going if we’re going to be staying up anyway. Come on, Brucie, I’ll fill you in on the way.”

 

They spent the next three nights patrolling the tower before Barton finally seemed to relax enough to sleep without the random patrols and sleeping fully dressing in the air ducts.

“You know we are probably going to have to do this again once Natasha comes back right?” Steve pointed out, plating an omelet and sliding it in front of Bruce.

“Probably. Considering how many issues we all have it’s possible any of us could have a flashback or  a need to feel safe.” Bruce said taking a long sip of his tea.

“I’ll see if we can have more projectors put into the common floor. We can use the living room as a control center with live feeds to all the cameras in the building.” Tony said refilling his mug of coffee.

“Might be useful.” Steve agreed.

“Sirs, Agent Barton is on his way down.”

“Well, four hours of sleep is the new record. Jarvis, ask what he wants in his omelet, please.”

“You should be able to ask him yourself in a moment, Captain.”

“Ask me what?” Clint asked as he wandered into the room.

His hair was still damp from his shower and he wore his normal black cargos with a grey tee shirt and weapons harness. Previously he had relaxed enough to start wearing jeans and leaving his visible weapons in his rooms. It would take some time to get him back to that state, they all knew but at least he was sleeping in his room now instead of in the vents. One step at a time and all that, Tony thought with an internal smirk.

 

***

 

“Jarvis, I want to get an update on the team every few days. Any changes to routine, sleeping habits, that kind of thing. Lets start a Shell Shock Scale as well. Ten being a complete break from reality and zero is sleeping eight hours a night.”

“Sir, by that scale no one in the tower is currently at zero.”

“Yeah, we’re all a bit damaged, J.” Tony said with a sigh. “We know this, I just want to make sure we can catch the next person before it gets this bad.”

“I shall start testing out various algorithms, sir.”

“Good, you do that.” Tony said, pulling one of the repulsors he had been recalibrating in front of him and grabbing a screwdriver. “How would you say Bruce and Steve are doing?”

“Master Banner is surprisingly the most stable of the team. He generally sleeps between six and eight hours a night, meditates or does yoga each morning along with sparring sessions with the others an average of three times a week. He seems to rely heavily on his routines to keep stable however.”

“So anytime we are having to pull him out of his routines for an extended amount of time we might have issues.”

“That is what I would conclude, sir.”

“And Steve?”

“I have been having trouble analyzing the data available from Captain Rogers. There is limited information on his day to day life before the war. My research indicates that since the serum he rarely slept more than four hours a night unless utterly exhausted. This is consistent with the data I have collected since he arrive in the tower, however the quality of his sleep seems very poor.”

“Would you say he is suffering from PTSD?”

“I would say that everyone in the tower appears to suffer from some mild to moderate versions of PTSD.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, J. Do we need to keep an eye on him?”

“The Captain has been unresponsive for several minutes upon waking violently. When this occurs he will disappear for hours to the gym or run the streets of New York, however he appears to be coping. Since your return to the tower his nightmares appear to be decreasing in number as the others settle back into their routines as well.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Occasionally the Captain will forget to eat and has lost weight because of excessive exercising. Perhaps you and the others could encourage him to eat with the team more?”

“He does seem to like to cook. I’ll get with Bruce and see if we can do more team dinners, try and serve some things he likes, maybe.”


	11. Ice

“Is it just me or are there more of these things?” Tony grunted, taking aim at the next two praying mantis like robots that were headed their way.

“They’re coming out of several subway terminals but thankfully seem more interested in fighting us than messing with civilians.” Clint said, his voice sounding distracted as the twang of his bow rang over the coms in the background.

“Anyway I could get some help down here, Hawkeye?” Steve asked, his voice sounding out of breath. “You know how everyone seems to think I don’t like guns? I would really like one right now. The shield is not doing a whole lot beyond pissing them off. I have six bugs on my tail.”

“Hang tight, Spangles, I’ll be there in a sec.” Tony said taking out the next two bugs and heading to Steve’s location. The Hulk was still happily smashing bots several blocks away so he was good for a bit.

“Okay, Cap, where are you?” Silence rang over the com for a few breathes. “Cap, you read me?”

“Sitwell, do you have a line on Cap, I’m not hearing him. Jarvis, see if you can track his com frequency.”

“Nothing since the last request for assistance, Iron Man.” Sitwell said.

“I cannot locate his frequency, sir. It appears that his com is down.”

“Hawk, you have eyes on Cap? I’m not seeing him.”

“He was heading toward an alley on fifth. I can’t see him now.”

“Got it. I found his bugs, no sign of Cap yet. Shit, there’s got to be two dozen of the things.”

 

***

 

“Anyway I could get some help down here, Hawkeye?” Steve asked, his voice sounding out of breath. “You know how everyone seems to think I don’t like guns? I would really like one right now. The shield is not doing a whole lot beyond pissing them off. I have six bugs on my tail.”

“Hang tight, Spangles, I’ll be there in a sec.” Tony said taking out the next two bugs and heading to Steve’s location.

Great, he had their attention, now what? Nothing he could dish out with his shield was touching the robots. He could hear the whine of Tony’s repulsors as he took out the bugs along his path. Steve huffed out a breath as he caught his shield from the latest rebound, two more bugs joining the group stalking towards him. Maybe he could box them in, there was an alleyway to one side.

Turning he darted in just as the bugs put on a burst of speed, eyes glowing a frightening gold like a weapon powering up. The bugs were too big to fit more than two beside each other in the narrow alley. Steve kept throwing trying to take out the eyes on the front two bugs but it was no use. The first beam of energy slashed across the alley forcing Steve to throw himself into a narrow doorway.

He had an instant to see the alley was iced over where the beam had hit before three more beams hit his shield. The ice pounded into him, slamming him back into the corner. He could feel it filling the space around him. He had a few extra moments to gasp for air behind his shield before the ice covered his face.

It was worse than the crash. He could feel his heart beat slowing as his muscles fought to flex, to move even a centimeter.  Nothing moved. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. He had closed his eyes at the last instant so he was blind as the chill slid into his bones. If he could have he would have been screaming, instead he barely managed a muffled whimper as he slid into the cold dark.

 

***

 

Jarvis, run a scan, see if you can see Cap.” Tony ordered as he began taking out the bugs crowded in the alley. “Like fish in a barrel. Have to thank Cap for laying them out for me.”

“Sir, I am detecting a faint life sign in the doorway to your left.” Jarvis said, pulling up an outline of the body with the familiar shape of a shield.

“Fuck, Hawk get your feathered butt down here. Cap’s down.” Tony took out the last few bugs with prejudice and landed next to the mass of ice filling the doorway. It thankfully only took a few blows to shatter, spilling the limp form of Captain America into the street. The soldier gave a gasping cough as he hit the pavement before going still. The chitter of a bug behind him forced Tony to spin away from his team mate and take it out. He took out the three incoming bugs behind it as well.

“Clint, hurry up. I can’t work on Cap and take out the bugs.”

“Almost there.” Clint bit out over the lines as he ran.

“Is he okay?” A voice asked, Tony locating her after a second leaning out an open door on the other side of the alley, “I’m a doctor if you need help.”

“Can you check him out? I’ll keep the bugs away.”

“Certainly.” She said, moving quickly to the Captain’s side and searching for a pulse as Tony took out another four bugs that had turned toward the alley.

“He’s got a pulse and is breathing, barely. We need to get him warmed up somehow.”

“Can we move him?”

“As long as it’s fast. The cold should actually keep him stable until we can get him to a hospital as long as he heart rate and breathing say steady.”

“Okay, Sitwell, I’m taking the doc and Cap to the tower medical floor. Hold out as best you can.”

“Roger that.” Hawkeye said over the stuttering Liaison. “I’ll rangle Hulk and see if we can at least get the bugs grouped together.”

“I hope you don’t mind heights.” Tony said, gathering up Steve in one arm and the Doctor in another.

“Why?” Her scream drowned out any response he could have made as the repulsors kicked in, launching them toward the tower at what for him was a sedate pace.

At the tower he barely waited for her to let go before he was striding into the tower and half dragging the Doctor into the elevator with him. He carefully settled Steve on one of the waiting beds before stepping back.

“Jarvis, make sure she knows where anything she needs is.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Be back as soon as the bugs are done.” The Doctor watched in shock as he lifted off and flew straight to the elevator, disapearing in seconds.

“Alright. Umm, Jarvis?”

“Yes, Doctor?”

“First, call me Miranda. Second, where are the scissors and warming blankets?” she said quickly getting an oxygen mask going and one the unconscious man.

“The warming blankets are in the cabinet to your left, third drawer from the top. May I ask why you need scissors, Dr. Miranda?”

“Just Miranda is fine and I need to get him out of this suit. It’s soaking wet.”

“While we do have scissors, none of them are diamond tipped and I doubt anything less would cut through Captain Rogers suit.”

“Right. Okay. Guess we are just going to do this the hard way. Never thought I would be the one seeing Captain America naked.”

“May I ask why it was never considered?”

“Well, I am British.” she said fighting to pull off the man’s boots, the warming blanket plugged in and draped across the rest of his body.

“I am sad to say that that has yet to stop many of the fans that seem to delight in flashing the team while they are in public.”

“Yes, the Americanization of the public sector and all that, I’m sure. By chance is there a zipper to this thing.”

“I am afraid not, Doctor.”

“Pity. Right then. Can you monitor his heart rate at all?”

“I can monitor all basic life signs of those in the tower. Captain Rogers’ heart rate is currently 20 beats per minute and decreasing. He is breathing once to twice a minute and his core body temperature is 30 degrees celsius and declining.”

“Keep me updated if that changes until I can get the heart monitor leads on.” She huffed, fighting to work the tight uniform top off the man while he was dead weight.

Once she had him stripped she quickly got an IV line in and the warming blanket situated. She went back to the cupboard for more blankets, packing the warm fabric around the man’s extremities, shoulders, and head.  

“Do you have any warm IV fluids?”

“I am afraid not. This was not a scenario we had planned for. I will be fixing those insufficiencies.”

“I would say you are doing rather well in your planning. Warm fluids would have been nice but it won't hurt for him to not have them. They would just speed the warming process. Do you have hot water bottles? How is his internal temperature now?” she asked placing one hand on his chest for a moment, it seemed warm but that could be wishful thinking.

“The hot water bottles are located in the shelves to your right, one more over, Doctor.”

“Thank you.”  
“The Captain’s core body temperature is currently 34 degrees celsius.”

“Good, let’s see if we can improve on that.” She said quickly filling up the bottles and packing one into each armpit and along his groin. “Help me keep an eye on his heart rhythm. It looks good but I don’t want him going into DEFib if we can help it.”

Several hours passed and the Captain was clearly on his way to recovery. The Doctor swapped out the warm blankets and water bottles as they cooled, a pile of discards growing to one side.

“Think we can stop with the water bottles. He’s warming much faster than I would have suspected after a bout of hypothermia.”

“The Captain’s ability to recover from injuries is well documented.”

“Good for him. He should be out of the woods if he wakes up by sometime tomorrow.”

“And if not?”

“He wasn’t in the ice long enough to suffer from much deoxygenation but given how shallow his breathing was it might have been a problem. His stats were low but we got him on nearly pure oxygen once he arrived so it might have been caught fast enough. The only way to tell is to test him once he wakes up. His reflexes appear normal so he has a good chance of recovery if he was a normal patient.”

“That is good news, I will inform Master Stark. Master Stark has asked for hourly updates and unless Captain Rogers takes a turn for the worse, wishes to complete the clean up the Avengers are currently undertaking and hope to return to the tower within the hour.”

“Clean up?”

“They are assisting shield in the removal of the robots from downtown.”

“Ah, that is nice of them, especially considering how long the battle lasted.” She said, changing out the Captain’s IV and settling in to wait.

The sound of the elevator had her turning to watch as a man dressed in black stalked down the hall.

“Apologies, it appears that Agent Barton was able to avoid my sensors. May I introduce, Hawkeye of the Avengers and Agent of Shield.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Agent Barton. I’m Dr. Eton but please call me Miranda.”

The Agent ignored her extended hand, keeping his eyes on the still form of her patient.

“How is he?” He asked, shifting so that he had a line of sight to the door, her, and her patient.

“Progressing well. He should be at a normal body temperature in the next hour if he continues to improve at the same rate. If he wakes up by late tomorrow he should make a full recovery.” Dr. Eton said, eyeing the dirt and sweat covered man. She couldn’t see any injuries beyond bruises and small cuts and scratches on the Agent but that did not mean he wasn’t injured.

“Should?” he asked, his voice hard.  
“There is no way to test for possible brain damage until he is awake and it is better to let him wake naturally if we can to let his body sort itself out.”

The Agent nodded before moving to the back of the room and pulling himself onto one of the high cabinets like it was not almost eight feet off the ground. He settled into a crouch, eyes scanning the room and body still.

“Ok. Let me know if you need anything, Agent.” The man made no response, his dark grey eyes simply scanning the room, watching every motion she made as she checked the IV and had Jarvis recite the Captain’s latest stats, core body temp of 80 degrees.

“Jarvis, can you scan the Agent for injuries?” she asked softly, hoping that she would not offend the man by asking.

“I keep a general log of basic medical statistics and their changes each time a person enters or leaves the building. I do not have the ability to scan for non-visible injuries or broken bones without the person’s permission.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.” She said gently, turning to face the Agent’s perch. “Agent Barton, I am able to treat any injuries you might have if you need me to. As you are military I am assuming you can treat the minor injuries on your own but I can see to those as well if you wish.”

“No.” He bit out, eyes never leaving the Captain.

“Very well. Please let me know if you need anything, Agent.” She said watching the Agent with concern.

She received no response and she had not really been expecting one. He at least was not showing any signs of pain or open wounds, she would just have to trust that he knew his own limits considering he was an Avenger after all. With a nod, she turned back to the Captain, checking his lungs with a stethoscope for a moment before increasing the flow of the IV. Now that his heart rate was up to normal he could deal with a bit higher drip rate and the extra fluids would help combat any dehydration he might have gotten from the hypothermia.

An hour later, the man who had brought her to the tower came wearing jeans and a AC/DC tee shirt.

“Doc, how’s the patient?” He called out, entering the room like he owned it. “Jeez, Barton!” He said finding the Agent in his perch. “Stalker much?”

“Fuck off, Stark.” Agent Barton said, dropping from his perch and heading to the door. “Watch him for a bit so I can get cleaned up.”

“Sure, Birdy. Whatever.” The other man said flippantly, waving the Agent off. The black clad man flipped off Tony Stark as he went out the door and down the hall. “So how’s the Captain fairing?”

“Rather well. He could wake up at any time now. As long as his gets checked out for neurological problems once he’s awake he should be fine. Will you regular doctor be coming in soon?”

“Yeah, part of the problem. We don’t have a regular doctor yet. I just finished building the floor. We can have Shield medical run the tests once he’s up and about just to get everything covered but the serum should prevent any kind of brain damage.”

“Why not bring a Shield doctor in then, if I may ask?”

“Honestly, several of our group has issues with military officials and receiving medical care while on base. Others have issues with medical personnel that have not been vetted to the nth degree touching them in any way shape or form.”

“I can stay until you get someone from Shield in but I have my own patients I am going to have to get back to tomorrow.”

“Where do you work?” She opened her mouth to continue only to close it blinking as the Agent came back in, hair wet from his shower and clean if still wearing black and enough weapons to start a war.

“That was fast, Legolas. Didn’t know you were such a worry wort.”

“Bite me, Stark. Any change?”

“No, his vitals are holding steady. His core temperature continues to improve and should be at normal levels in the next hour or two.” The doctor cut in hoping to prevent and argument between the two men.

“So, work?” Stark asked, turning back back to the woman.

“I work as a floater at several hospitals in town and primarily at Saint Brandon’s Hospice.”

“Is that where you have to be tomorrow?”

“Yes, I have a twelve hour shift starting at noon.”

“I’ll make sure we have some here to take over by the time you have to leave.” The Agent made an abortive gesture from his corner of the room, “Bruce is practically a GP, Barton, he can watch him until we can get someone from Shield. For all we know, he’ll be up and around by than, I mean look at how rosy his cheeks are for god’s sake, it’s criminal to be unconscious and look that good.”

Barton scowled and pulled out his phone, barking out “Sitwell.” into the receiver as he left the room.

“See? All good. Sitwell will get someone here from Shield if Bruce don’t wake up in time. So, you’re all set? Need anything?”

“For the patient? No, we just have to wait until he wakes up.”

“Yeah, me and waiting don’t do well together. I’ll be in the lab. J, call me if anything changes.”  
“Of course, sir.” The AI responded sounding resigned as the goateed man left the room in a swirl of motion.

“Are they always like this?” Miranda asked, trying to resolve the conflicting images that the different men gave off both in and out of battle, in the news versus in person.

“Frankly this is the team on a rather good day, Doctor Eton.”

“Interesting.”

“May I ask, how late would you be able to stay should the worst case scenario happen?”

“Ideally I would want to leave around 8am so I can get some sleep but I have worked with less before. Why exactly are the Avengers looking to staff their own hospital if they can use Shield doctors? I understand wanting to have their own facilities off base but surely Shield background checks all their doctors?”

“Shield does conduct extensive background checks on their medical staff however several of the team members have been treated as lab experiments at times. They are wary of samples being stolen or potentially used without their knowledge. Shield has shown several times that they are not above using subterfuge in their actions with the team if it is warranted to achieve their goals.”

“So the government they are supposed to be working for is lying to them and using them as needed on occasion?”

“Essentially, yes.”

“Alright, I can see why they would want to distance themselves in that case. I’m afraid there is not much I can do to assist beyond staying until someone else is able to take over the Captain’s care. I tend to work rather random shifts. I can leave my number before I go. If you need emergency care in town and no one else is available you are welcome to call.”

“Thank you, Dr. Eton. I will record the information once it is provided and let the others know of your offer.”

Clint settled against the vent with a faint sigh, he could ignore most of the bruises and scrapes covering his frame but lying against the cool metal of the vent was making everything stiffen up. This doctor might work out after all if she was willing to offer up her services after being kidnapped off the street with no warning and left with an unstable patient alone in a skyscraper. He would have to run his own background check but so far he liked her no nonsense approach. He would continue to keep an eye on her for now, only time would tell if she was susceptible to the bribes and pressures that came from associating with people like Tony Stark and Shield.

He did not like seeing his friend lying there so still and vulnerable. Steve and the others had been there for Clint when he needed them and he was not about to let down his guard while Steve was out of commision. He would keep watch as long as one of them were in medical. He knew how vulnerable a position that was for attack all too well.

Shield medical knew of his issues with being in their care and Coulson had finally made a deal with them. Coulson had dealt with all him medical care as long as it was not serious. Now that Coulson was gone he had no one to go to. Having a doctor on staff with the Avengers would solve that if she worked out. It would bear watching.


	12. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up.
> 
> ***This chapter is still in progress so changes will be made in the coming days.***

Steve came to with a gasp, fighting out of the heavy embrace of the blankets. Clint was out of the vents and grabbing his weight before he could hit the floor.

“Easy, Cap. You’re in the tower. The fights over.” The doctor glanced from Clint to the dangling vent cover but let it be, dusting herself off from where he had shoved her out of the way.

“Clint?” Steve mumbled, eyes darting around the room.

“Yeah, how do you feel?”

“What happened, the robots?”

“We took care of it, the fights over.”

“Oh, good.” He said, seeming to deflate as the fight left him. Clint eased him back onto the bed pulling the pillows and blankets back in place with one hand, the other hand keeping a light hold on the Captains wrist.

“You good, doc?” Clint asked, his eyes flickering over the disheveled woman.

“Fine. Is it alright if I check the Captain’s vitals?”

“Cap? This is Dr. Eton. She’s been watching you while you were out. Can she check you out?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Steve managed as he ran his free hand across his face. Clint glared at the doctor for a moment before letting Steve go and moving to lean against the wall to one side. The doctor ignored him and manually checked the Captain’s heart and lungs.

“How is your vision? Any issues?”

“No, just feel like I got hit by a bus, Mame. I didn’t dream the ice this time, did I?” He asked, turning to meet Clint’s eyes.

“No, Tony said you were covered when he found you. It wasn’t more than ten minutes after your com went silent.”

“Least it wasn’t seventy years this time, right?” he asked with a small shudder before he forced himself up straighter in the bed. “What’s the damage, doctor?”

“You seem fine, it exhausted. Get some hot liquids and a good meal into you before you sleep. Rest up for the next few days and I doubt you will have any issues. I’m leaving my contact information with Jarvis incase there are any complications but I think you are in the clear.” She said clipping off the IV line and quickly removing the needle. The wound healed before she could get a bandage on it and Steve gave her a small smile as she looked blankly at the smooth skin for a moment.

“Right. Lots of fluids and rest. Doctor’s orders.” She said giving his shoulder a squeeze before heading to the door.

“Yes, Mame.” Steve said with a tired grin.

“Jarvis, can you get me a cab?” She asked with a tired grin at the ceiling.

“Of course, Doctor. If you head down the hall to the elevators I will guide you to the exit.”

Steve shifted to sit on the side of the bed only to realize that he was naked under the blankets and blushed as far as the eye could see. Clint handed him a pair a sweats with a cheeky grin.

“Want to say here or head to the common floor?” Clint asked watching the other man carefully, trying to judge just how exhausted he was as he slipped the sweat pants on before standing to pull them up the rest of the way.

“Might as well hit the common room. I’m surprised Bruce hasn’t headed down yet, or did I miss that part?”

“No, Bruce is still out like a light. Hulk didn’t want to stop smashing so we had to tranq him. He’s still got a few hours before the dose wears off.”

Steve shrugged into the sweatshirt and they slowly made their way to the elevator and then the common room couch. Steve tried to ignore how tired he felt, it was like he was getting over the flu, every joint ached and he just had utterly no energy.

“What do you want to eat?” Clint asked as he chided the other man into sitting on one end of the couch with his feet up. He spread a blanket over him before moving into the adjacent kitchen. Digging out Bruce’s tea kettle he got a pot of water going before searching through the cabinets for something warm to make.

“I know you're not big on premade but can you stomach a can of tomato soup? We don’t have a lot of things that won't take a while to cook.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Here, I stole some of Bruce’s tea. I doubt he’ll mind.” He said handing Steve a large mug full of the steaming liquid.

“Thanks.” Steve said, happily taking a sip of the hot liquid. It still felt like his bones were chilled somehow.

“Jarvis, how are Bruce and Tony? They need anything?”

“Sir is currently helping Master Banner get dressed. He insisted on seeing the Captain when he woke up.”

“I’ll go ahead and get another cup of tea going. Bruce is probably going to still be drugged.”

“Sir is offering to order out for Chinese if anyone else is interested.”

“Sure, we might as well get some food in we can nuke in a hurry. I doubt any of us are going to be up for cooking today.”

“What time is it?” Steve asked squinting at the dark glass, trying to see out.

“Two in the morning.” Clint said taking his tea and handing him another mug full of soup. “The fight lasted almost six hours with two hours of clean up. You were unconscious after the first two. We’ve been back in the tower about four hours. Tony and Hulk did most of the work. I ran out of explosive arrowhead after hour three and played Hulk wrangler for the rest of the fight.”

“That’s a lie.”Tony put in guiding Bruce into the armchair next to Steve. “I distinctly remember you taking out every bug’s eye you could reach. Took out their biggest weapon and let Hulk and I get close enough to finish them off.” Clint made a soft sound of denial and fetched Bruce’s mug.

“You already call in the chinese?” Clint asked, changing the topic.

“Yep, should be here in about twenty minutes.”

“Cool.”

“Alright there, Cap?” Tony asked watching the other man sip at his soup in between yawns.

“Yeah, just tired.”

“What did you two think of the doc?”

“She seemed nice.” Steve offered when Clint did not speak up, snuggling deeper into the blankets. Clint rescued his mug before he spilled it.

“Finish your tea at least.” he muttered, handing it over for the other man to drain.

“Katniss?”

“We’ll see once the background checks come in.” Clint muttered, moving to the other side of the couch.

“Yeah, yeah. You get with Jarvis and come up with a super spy background check that even Coulson would have approved of.”

“She already has a job, Stark.” Clint pointed out with a slight glare.

“And we don’t exactly need round the clock care, Legolas. Give her a stark phone that acts like a pager and call her in only when we need her. Jarvis can handle it.”

“Your Chinese is downstair, sir.” Jarvis interrupted with his normal impeccable timing.  
“That was fast. Save the name of that place, we might want to order from there again.”  
“Of course, sir.”

“Listen, consider this a trial run. We give her a chance next time we go out and one once Natasha gets back before a final decision is made.”

“Have you even asked her if she’s interested, Stark?” Steve asked before Tony could get in the elevator.  
“Pfft, details.” Tony said, waving one hand negligently. “I’ll make her an offer in a few days.”

The elevator door closed behind him making Steve heave a sigh.

“She can still say no.” Clint put in softly. “She probably will.”

“When has Stark ever taken no as an answer.”

“Point.” Clint said with his own sigh. “Do you want any chinese or do you want to head to bed?

“Probably need to head to bed or I’m going to be sleeping right here.” Steve said with a grin at the lightly snoring Bruce.

“I’ll come back in a bit and get him into bed if Tony doesn’t. Think we’re all taking tomorrow off of training, anyway.”

Clint trailed the taller man as he made his way into the elevator and then off and onto his floor. He pulled back the covers on Steve’s bed and gave him a push toward it when he stalled just inside the room. Steve chuckled softly and settled in the bed only tugging off the sweatshirt top before he burrowed into the covers. Clint settled into a chair in the other room sending several texts to Tony to make sure Bruce was taken care of. He spent the night working on his tablet, one ear open for sounds from Steve’s room.


	13. Ch. 13

It was almost lunch time before Steve managed to get up. He lay curled in the blankets enjoying the steady warmth for a long time before he managed to stagger out of bed and into the bathroom. Thankfully the steady ache that had haunted his joints and muscles last night had passed. He felt good, if still slightly tired like he was recovering from a several days of illness. Once he had relieved his aching bladder and taken a quick shower he got dressed and made the bed before heading to the common floors kitchen for something to eat.

Clint and Bruce were in the kitchen waiting on him. The table was full of Chinese and Clint tossed him a bottle of water with a small grin before taking his own plate to the patch of countertop he normally perched on.

“How are you feeling, Steve?” Bruce asked looking concerned.

“Not too bad, just still a little tired.”

“Good, you had us worried.”

“Shield wants to do some tests tomorrow to make sure you're still 100 percent but it’s up to you if you want to go or not.” Clint said with a frown at his chopsticks.

“Might as well. It would make sense to let them check me out since they had the latest results anyway. Once we get the rest of the equipment and a doctor here we can see about moving away from Shield if it bothers you that much.” Clint shook his head like it was not an issue for him but refused to comment, picking at his food. Steve gave a sigh but went back to his food.

“Where’s Tony? Still in his workshop?”

“He’s been in there most of the day. I was going to go join him after lunch.” Bruce said with a soft laugh. “I’ll take him a plate when I go.”

“Thanks, Bruce.” Steve said with a small smile.

 

After lunch had been finished and Bruce headed down to the lab. Steve was sent to find a movie to watch in the living room area while Clint finished cleaning up the kitchen and putting away the extra food. They watched the Princess Bride after Steve mentioned that he had not seen it. Clint insisted that everyone had to see it at least once. He spent most of the movie watching Steve’s reactions to different scenes, how hard he laughed at the peanut joke and how worried he looked as the pair of lovers were torn apart by death.

Steve went into Shield the next morning and was quickly cleared, showing just as healthy as he always was. That night Clint cooked to celebrate him being cleared for duty, thick beef stew that filled even Steve up after two bowls and slab like slices of fresh bread. Afterwards Tony dragged Bruce down to his workshop mumbling about design improvements.

 

“Care to go to the range? Or we could spar if you like.” Clint asked softly once they had finished with the dishes.

“I haven’t done much shooting practice. Might as well brush up.” Steve said with a grin, following the archer to the elevator.

 

***

 

Steve fought his way out the latest nightmare, shivering in reaction as he forced his way out of the tangle of sheets. The dreams had never really stopped since he work from the ice but since the attack injuring him they had gotten 50 times worse. The surgery for Tony was in two days and the entire tower was a hot bed of tension.

He had found himself spending more time with Clint since the attack. He was surprised at how close a friend the quiet archer was becoming. Clint might talk nonstop during an op, calling out enemies and razzing the rest of the team but get him out of the action and he was a very private man. Steve knew he had few people he trusted enough to call friend and was honored that he was slowly getting a glimpse of what a friendship between them would be.

The team never really kept set times of when they did meals or when they were working out together in the gyms. It just seemed that they all wandered in together around the sames times. Steve and Bruce worked to keep Tony eating and sleeping at relatively normal hours as the surgery loomed closer. It was never easy.

Clint was often out working on things with Shield during the day but would normally appear for a late dinner or sparring session in the early afternoon if they did not do a movie night. Lately, movie nights were the only way to get Tony sitting down and eating  so they had been doing them fairly often on the rather feeble excuse of getting Steve caught up on 70 years of culture.

Pepper arrived at the tower last night in the middle of them watching Casablanca. Tony had silently stood and pulled her into the elevator. The rest of the team quickly broke up and went to their rooms as well. It was in the early hours of the morning when Steve heard a soft knock on his door. Clint glanced up at him with a small grin.

“Jarvis said you were up.”

“Yeah, can’t seem to sleep. I was just watching a movie.”

“Mind if I join you? I swear my place is so empty it’s echoing tonight. I might need to get more furniture or something.”

“Sure, I was just trying to finish Casablanca if you’re interested.”

“Sounds good.”

While Steve was only wearing a pair of sleep pants and a tee shirt, Clint was fully dressed in his normal outfit of combat boots and black shirt and pants. He left the boots at the door, padding silently to the couch and claiming a corner with his normal fluid grace. Clint quickly became focused on the film, leaving Steve to watch the archer with a soft smile tugging at his lips. He loved how Clint gave everything he did his full attention.

Steve grinned, pulling out his sketch pad and charcoal that he had left under the couch, maybe he could work on a few sketches while the archer was engrossed in the move. He never seemed to get Clint to stay still long enough to get more than a few quick profiles and rough drafts. The few drawings he had attempted did not seem to match how the man looked in his mind’s eye.

By the time the movie ended Clint had drifted off to sleep, tilting slightly to curl against the side of the couch, his toes tucked under Steve’s legs. Steve settled a blanket over the other man and was surprised when the assassin did not even stir, he must really be exhausted. Steve sketched for another hour or two before curling up on his end of the couch and drifting off.

Steve woke shaking from dreams of ice. He jerked upright, panting as he scanned the room, trying to push past the dream. The couch next to him was empty, the blanket that had been covering Clint was now draped over the afghan Steve had been using.

 

“Hey, I made some tea if you want.” Clint said, moving into his line of sight and setting down one of the mugs he was carrying. He moved to curl back on the otherside of the couch, body a tight ball so that he was not touching Steve at all. Steve carefully reached out, ignoring how his hand was shaking and pulled the mug in closer, using it’s warmth to chase the phantom chill from his hands.

“Didn’t know you liked tea.” Steve murmured taking a small sip of the milky brew. Clint gave him a small wry grin in response.

“I spent a couple years in and around London on several missions for Interpol. Got used to it. I can’t do a lot of caffeine anyway, too many ops of having to detox off it while stuck in a ghillie suit in the middle of nowhere.” He said rubbing at one ear as he sipped at his own mug.

“You have an earache?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Clint said, voice going uncertain. With a sigh, he pulled one of his hearing aids out, handing it to Steve. “I’m eighty percent deaf in both ears. Shield made me hearing aids that double as coms for missions. I actually hear a bit better than average with them in most of the time.”

“Do they hurt?” Steve asked, handing the tiny hearing aid back.

“Only when I sleep in them. They make my ears ache if I wear them too much without a break now and then. Sometime I just turn them off for a while and that helps.”

“Does it bother you at all, not being able to hear?”

“Not really. I grew up mostly deaf.” Clint said with a shrug. “The only time I leave them on constantly is during missions where I don’t have back up. Normally I have Natasha to watch my back when I sleep so I can take them out.”

“Thank you for trusting me with this, Clint.”

“Figured you should know. I’ve never had an issue with them during an op and I normally carry spares in my quiver but considering how crazy some of the stuff we are fighting is getting, we might need a plan just incase they fail or I get EMP’d or something.”

“Yeah, the villains seem to be determined to one up each other.” Steve said with a small grin. “So, I know you sign but does Natasha?”

 “Yeah, Natasha and Coulson learned as well. We used to use ASL nearly constantly when we went on ops together.”

“Could you teach me? I mean for real?”

“Sure. I think Bruce already knows how to sign as well and knowing Tony he’ll pick it up in a few hours or something.”

“You want the rest of the team to know?”

“Probably should. We’re getting to know the worst of each other, might as well air a few demons of my own.”

“You can tell them in your own time. I know it can’t have been easy to reveal something you’ve been hiding for so long.”

“Thanks, Steve.” Clint muttered, glancing away a light blush heating his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “You know if you ever need to talk, you can tell me anything right? I’m good at keeping secrets. Spy’s honor.”

“Thank you, Clint. Just… not now. Later.”

“No pressure. I just know that it helps to talk about nightmares.” Clint said, fiddling with his mug. “I have plenty of my own.”

“Can I ask? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“Whatever you want to ask, is fine, Steve. Just ask.”

“What was Coulson to you? I know you two were close. Closer than most Handlers and Agents.”

“Yeah.” Clint scrubbed and hand across his face, fighting against his initial instinct to bolt. “Coulson was family. Like the father and brother I never had all rolled into one. He took me and ‘Tasha in and gave us a safe place. Probably the first really safe place either of us had ever had.”

“Sorry, just from the way you talked about him it made it seem like you were lovers.” Steve said blushing scarlet.

“Nah, I will admit Coulson was damn hot but he was family, you don’t date family.” Clint said making a face. “I’m not the best at relationships anyway, whether it’s men or women.”

“I was awful at trying to date.” Steve said with a snort, cheeks red. “They at least got that right in the comic books. Bucky was what Coulson was for you. He was the one who gave me somewhere safe.”

“So you never wanted to get into brother Bucky’s pants?” Clint asked with a joking leer.

“Ha, no. Bucky was straight as an arrow and people went to jail or got killed for even looking at another guy then.”

“Still do.” Clint said with a sigh, rubbing lightly at Steve’s knee in a silent offer of comfort.

“But they are able to be out and to date. I still can’t wrap my head around that. Being able to hold hands and kiss in public.” Steve blushed but did not move away from the warm hand on his knee. “I can’t believe we are even talking about this.”

“We don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s just. No one ever talked about these kinds of things. It was just understood that it was avoided.”

“Did you know anyone who was gay then?”

“A few of the girls on the tour were. It was hard to say if any guys I knew were. Some of the soldiers had a guy they relieved stress with but it was never considered a real relationship. There were several bars where fairies hung out in Brooklyn but it was just going to have a drink, not to meet up or go looking for sex, even if some did.”

“So Steve Rogers is into both sides of the coin like me or did you root for a specific team?”

“I guess you could say I was bisexual. I never cared about the gender, I just loved Peggy and Bucky both. It was more about their personalities and who they were than what gender they were and what they looked like.”

“Yeah, they call it demisexual.”

“I’ll have to look that up later.”

“You up for breakfast or were you planning to head to bed?” Clint asked, standing and heading to the kitchen to rinse out his mug. He might as well change the subject since Steve was so red he looked like he was going to stroke out in a minute.

“Might as well stay up. What were you thinking?”

“Well, we can do eggs or something or we could go out. I know of a great dinner I think you would like not far from here.” Clint offered, his voice low and fragile some how. It was worth pushing aside his instinctive need to move, to run from his dreams, Steve thought watching Clint’s blinding smile when he nodded in agreement.


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

#  Ch. 14

 

                Clint settled into his perch high above the gym to think things through. Stark had left with Pepper to recuperate in Malibu a few hours ago looking exhausted and drawn but without the reactor in his chest. Whatever treatment he’d used had healed him, leaving him with scars that looked months old but left the man drained of energy. Clint was sure the man would be back to his snarky self in a few weeks; it was Steve that had Clint worried.

                Steve had been working double time trying to manage the tower, team, and several upcoming missions with Shield who were trying to collaborate with the various team members. Bruce and Tony were being called into consult on various cases that used their specialties and Clint and Steve were tapped for several upcoming missions once Natasha returned. Clint watched the man wear himself down further each day, checking on everyone, running miles as he fought to outrun his dreams.

“Jarvis?” Clint asked once his phone connected.

“Yes, Agent Barton? Is there something I can assist you with?”

“I know you’ve been tracking Steve about town on his runs.” Clint said shifting so he could peek further over the edge of the girder he was perched on. “Has the length or speed increased this week?”

“I take it that you are becoming concerned about the Captain’s need to continually push himself?”

“He’s going to crash hard soon and I’d rather it not be during a mission when it could get him killed. I’ve followed him a few times and he’s pushing at the end of even my endurance on just his morning runs. Lately he’s been going out after dinner as well, I’m afraid he’s going to hurt himself at this rate.”

“How exactly can I assist you in this endeavor, Agent Barton? I’ve been at a loss in how to stave off the Captain’s looming crisis.”

“Can you alert me as soon as he has a nightmare tonight?” Clint asked fiddling with his phone to send several text messages, “I’ve asked Sitwell to clear his meetings and such for Shield tomorrow. Does he have anything else going on that you know of?”

“He has alerts set for each meal and for checking on each team member at different times during the day.”

“Cancel those. We can fend for ourselves for one day.” Clint said with a snort, they’d been leaning on the Captain for too long anyway, time to see if the tower burned down without his constant supervision. He knew the man was eating at least even if it wasn’t much at the meals Clint could join him for. “Can you keep an eye out and make sure Bruce stays out of trouble tomorrow? You can alert me if things look to be heading towards and outburst but I think we should be fine.”

“Very well, do you have a plan for how to approach the Captain and get him to relax?”

“Yeah, and I’m going to need you to do one more thing for me later tonight to make it work.” Clint said standing and flipping off the beam and to the ground, he had a lot to get done before tonight if this was going to work.

***

“The Captain is showing signs of distress.” Jarvis said later that night as the door to Steve’s rooms opened silently at Clint’s touch.

“I’ll take care of it, Jarvis. Lock down the floor once I’m in.”

“Good luck, Agent Barton.” Jarvis murmured as the door shut and locked behind him, leaving Clint waiting in the dark until his eyes adjusted.

“Yep, need all the luck I can get.” Clint muttered, “This is either going to be amazing or result in lots of internal bleeding, rather like most plans I’ve run for Shield.”

                Inside Steve’s bedroom the man lay twisted in the sheets, muscles twitching as he dreamed. Clint slowly took off his boots and left them by the door. He padded over to the bed and ever so slowly took a seat at the headboard next to the prone form of his friend.

                Sometimes he’d woken from nightmares of his own to the warmth of Coulson sitting reading next to him. Just the feel of another body in bed with him was sometimes enough to wake him but Steve slept on whimpering as he struggled in his sleep. Clint sighed and shifted down in the bed, moving closer to the super soldier. He started to reach out but Steve beat him to it, rolling over and cuddling the smaller man like he was a teddy bear.

                Clint grinned and wrapped his own arms around the man, letting his body relax into the gentle hold. The soldier snuggled in, seeming to relish the warmth the other man gave off while Clint settled in to keep watch simply enjoying the novel sensation of being held. Clint used a foot to grab the blanket Steve had kicked away and tucked them both in for the night.

                It was near lunch time when Steve finally began waking up. Clint lay sprawled under the other man where he’d been pinned earlier that morning when Steve shifted in his sleep. Normally he hated being trapped but something about it being Steve had him arching into the weight of it, relishing the press of weight against his back shoving his chest into the mattress.

“It’s warm.” Steve muttered sleepily into the back of Clint’s neck as he seemed to try and burrow closer before rearing back and blinking at the body under him, “Clint?”

“Morning, sorry. I’ll get out if you want.”

“What are you doing here?”

“You were having a nightmare and when I tried to wake you up you decided I was a teddy bear. I figured it was easier just to stay.” He with a shrug stretching his arm over his head and twisting to pop his back.

“Sorry.” Steve said shifting away.

“Don’t be, it was nice.” Clint said with a shrug, “Haven’t sleep that good in a while myself.”

“You don’t look like you slept much.” Steve pointed out with a yawn forcing himself up and into the bathroom.

“I dozed a bit.” Clint said curling up with a pillow and yawning himself.

“You going to get up?” Steve asked with a grin watching the archer trying to curl around his pillow.

“You going to come back and keep me warm?”

“Seriously?” Steve asked blinking at him.

“I called and canceled your meetings with Shield. You need a day off and I felt like sleeping in.” Clint said with another yawn, tugging at the man’s wrist when he got close enough. “Come on, you know you want to.”

“I have things I have to do.”

“How’s Bruce, Jarvis?” Clint asked talking over Steve.

“Dr. Banner has had breakfast and is working in his lab. He’s agreed to allow me to alert anyone in the tower in the event of an appearance of the Hulk.”

“See? Jarvis has it handled. You can play hooky for one day.” Clint wheedled, grinning when Steve huffed, see goofball friend with no boundaries, take as much as you want. Steve grumbled but he finally gave in and climbed back into bed, spooning against the smaller man.

“Not going to argue about being little spoon?” Steve asked tucking the man’s head under his chin.

“I don’t mess with your shield, you don’t mess with my bow. The rest is window dressing.” Clint muttered relaxing in to the light embrace.

“I feel like you have an ulterior motive for this.” Steve said around another yawn, curling up tighter against Clint with a sigh as he tugged the blanket back over both of them.

“Yep, after this we’re totally going to make out and go out for hotdogs.” Clint mumbled already more asleep then awake.

“Really?” Steve asked shifting up onto one elbow to look down at the other man but he was limp and snoring softly.

“I might like that.” He whispered into Clint’s hair, humming as he buried his nose in the man’s hair and drifted off to sleep.

***


	15. Chapter 15

Ch. 15

They slept for almost another twenty hours before groggily getting up and having breakfast. Steve checked his schedule with Jarvis while Clint was in the shower only to find that most of his appointments had been rescheduled for the rest of the week. Apparently he was being forced to take a few days’ vacation; he glanced towards the bedroom and found he wasn’t that angry.

He settled down at his piano and let his fingers wander while he considered what they could do in the next few days. He wasn’t sure if Clint had off as well but he wasn’t nearly as busy as Steve was most of the time so he probably would be able to tag along to whatever he finally decided to do. They lazed around until lunch before heading to the common level to join the others for a meal.

“Why do you do that?” Steve asked watching as Tony and Bruce headed back to the lab. 

“Do what?” Clint asked taking a bite of his sandwich while glancing out the window uncaringly. 

“Hide your intelligence.” Steve said dumping his plate in the dishwasher and turning back to watch the archer. “You understood what they were talking about. Why didn’t you join the conversation?”

“They don’t want me in the lab, Steve, its fine.”

“No, it’s not; you shouldn’t have to hide yourself here.” He said moving forward to lean against the counter next to the other main. 

“I’m not hiding.” Clint snapped but Steve considered it a win since he didn’t shift to move away either. 

“Really?”

“Listen, before Shield I was a middle school dropout mercenary with a good eye, a dumb hick from the middle of nowhere that got by on skill. People see that.” Clint said with a shrug, face stony. 

“That’s not who you are, that’s a bad circumstance you got yourself out of.”

“People assume things, Steve. It’s easier to just let them.” Clint said with a shrug pushing off the counter and moving to the windows to stare out.

“People never saw me before the serum,” Steve said moving to stand behind him, “After the procedure all they saw was the body and what it could do. I wasn’t me anymore. I stepped into that room with you on the Helicarrier and in one look you looked right through the suit and saw me.”

“Steve,” Clint said softly shifting to glance over one shoulder before trailing off uncertainly. 

“You saw me and accepted me as a commander and soldier without a second thought, no one else has ever done that.”

“I owed Loki a fight.” Clint said stiffly.

“And afterwards?” Steve pressed, “You cook with me and hang out. You don’t poke at me like Tony or hide like Bruce. You get me out of the tower and spar with me when I need a distraction. It’s always you. Tony sees me as the one project his dad made that he can’t outdo, Shield sees me as a tool to use, and even Darcy uses me as a distraction from Jane and her work. You’re the only one who wants me as myself.”

“I’m a killer.” Clint bit out shivering as Steve stepped into his space.

“So am I.” Steve said with a sigh, “Most of my life has been fighting a war or preparing to fight one. I killed a lot of people in the war, not all of them under orders. I’m a soldier, same as you. We take the shot when we’re told to, sometimes even when we’re told not to.”

“What do you want, Steve?” Clint asked shifting in place like he wanted to close the gap between them, “I’m an antisocial sniper who’s lost everyone I ever cared about. Tasha’s the only one I have left and our relationship was never something I’d call normal.”

“Pretty sure none of us have ever had a normal relationship, Clint.” Steve said with snort.

“What do you want, Steve? I can’t keep guessing.” Clint asked turning to face the taller man.

Steve reached out and wrapped one hand around the smaller man’s hip pulling him flush against his chest. He kept the hold as loose as he could giving him the room to back away but Clint gave a small shudder and sank against him with a sigh. Steve stroked a hand down his back, ducking to breath in the other man’s scent. 

“I want to sleep next to you, to wake up tangled together each morning. I want to make you breakfast and take you out dancing. I want you watching my back in a fight and sparring together in the gym.” Steve said slowly, “I want whatever you’re willing to offer.”

“If word gets out that Captain America’s with a guy the world’s going to lose its mind.”

“Who said anything about Captain America? I was Steve Rogers long before they gave me that stupid name. I’m the one who wants you by my side, no matter the uniform, Captain America, Army, or Shield.”

“I’m bad at relationships.” Clint mumbled into Steve’s collarbone.

“So am I, we both have crazy schedules and jobs.” Steve said with a huff, “I never said that it had to be prefect, Clint. I just want to try.”

“And when it doesn’t work?”

“Then we deal with it.” Steve said with a chuckle holding on a smidge harder, “I never said it was going to be easy. We’re both messed up, we’re going to have bad days.”

“And now? What do you want now?”

“Right now I want to hold you a while longer, maybe watch a movie and go to bed wrapped in your arms.” Steve said with a sigh, “I haven’t ever slept as good as I did that night.”

“What about sex and stuff?” Clint asked. 

“I’m not against it but we don’t have to.” Steve said with a shrug, “Tonight I just want to hold you if you’re okay with that.”

“I’d like that.” Clint said wrapping his arm around Steve’s waist and nuzzling in against his shoulder and neck. “I’ve been with men and women but it’s been a while, most people aren’t willing to live with all the lies we have to tell.”

“I know you’re going to have missions you can’t tell me about, so will I. We just have to talk about things.” Steve said, “Everything was hidden between men growing up for me. Affection was meant to be something private beyond a few kisses in the dance halls. I’m not sure how open I want to be just yet.”

“It’ll just be Clint and Steve at home.” Clint said shifting to look up at the other man, “Outside we’re the Captain and Agent Barton, but here we’re just us.”

“Yeah,” Steve said with a sigh, tension sliding out of his shoulders, “I can do that. Do you want to go upstairs? Mine or yours?” he asked with a teasing grin. 

“Yours,” Clint said pulling away but keeping a light hold on Steve’s hips, “Your floor at least feels lived in, and mine’s like a hotel I’ve been bunking at.”

“You’re welcome to stay over whenever you want, even have a spare room if you want some time alone.” Steve said taking Clint’s hand and guiding him towards the elevator. 

“Bit soon to be asking me to move in, Rogers.” Clint said with a grin making Steve laugh.

***

They had officially been together for a month when Clint got called into Shield for an op. Steve kissed him good luck on his floor once they finished double checking his go bag; they’d slowly moved from cuddling on the couch to hand jobs and making out in bed but watching Clint strip himself down to Agent Barton made him want more.

Steve watched Clint shove bits of himself away until only Agent Barton was left once he was fully dressed and armed. He rode in with him since he had a meeting later that day with Hill for an upcoming op they wanted his opinion on. Steve spent the drive pulling on his own mask until when they parted ways in the hallway it was without a second glance. Steve finished his work and drove back to the tower alone but didn’t bother trying to go anywhere except the gym. He needed to think.

Hours later he dragged the last bag to the side, having Jarvis mark it for replacement. He took a plate down to Tony and Bruce since they were buried in science and pulling an all-nighter. He played piano for a while but he really wished he was out with Clint.

They’d talked of missions gone wrong, kills they didn’t regret and those they did. Steve had shared about his childhood knowing Clint had it worse even if he couldn’t talk about it, the cigarette burns on his back said it for him. Seeing the man he was coming to love strip himself down into the killer he could be just made Steve want to see more. He wanted the dark eyes killer drenched in blood as much as he wanted the shy sarcastic joker that shared his bed each night.

“Jeeze, how much of a prima donna can you get, Barton?” one of the black clad soldiers sneered as the group walked away from the plane. 

“You pull the trigger, how hard is that exactly?” another snorted, not seeing where Steve was waiting in the shadows until he stepped out to block the door. 

“Agent Barton,” Steve said his voice commanding, fulling in his Captain mask. 

“Captain Rogers.” Clint said stiffly, his agitation at his team clear in the tight slope of his shoulders, coiled to lash out or move if needed in a heartbeat. 

“I understand you made quite the shot, what was the distance?” he asked expression mild. 

“200 meters,” Clint said his tone empty, rote information delivered.

“Conditions?” Steve asked his gaze flicking over the shifting team with a hard look, it was petty but he could couldn’t help but enjoy the uncomfortable looks they exchanged as he pushed the issue. 

“Standard for the area,” Barton said with a shrug before rattling off the wind direction, velocity, altitude, and ambient temperature at Steve’s raised eyebrow. 

“For a double head shot it’s impressive. It’s nearly impossible to hit two moving targets with a single round.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Gentlemen,” Steve said giving the rest of the team a nod before moving on.

He knew Clint would snap at him when he got back to the tower but Steve saw no reason for either of them to be hiding. It hurt no one for Clint to be acknowledged for his accomplishments. The man was an amazing statistician when he was allowed free rein to manipulate the planning of a mission however few of the teams he worked with allowed it since Coulson’s death.

“Why did you do that?” Clint finally asked once Steve had let him shower and eat something. The masks had dropped and they were sprawled lazily in bed, some random black and white movie playing on one wall, Steve idly massaging Clint’s arms and shoulders.

“I don’t like seeing them treat you like that. You made an impossible shot and wrapped up the mission three days early.”

“It’s just trash talk.” Clint said with a huff, “Some of the teams flat out refused to work with me after Loki. They don’t need to be reminded just how deadly I can be when 8 months ago I was the one pointing the gun at their heads.”

“I want you on my next op.”

  
“I thought we weren’t mixing business with pleasure.” Clint said twisting until he was on his back, Steve shifting to straddle his hips and keeping up the massage.

“You have too much to offer to be wasted on just wet work assignments. I want you to plan the mission out with me, watch my back and be my backup if things go south.”

“And if things go south because we’re together?”

“Then we don’t work together outside of the Avengers but I don’t think it will.” He said ducking down to steal a quick kiss. 

“I still think it’s probably a bad idea,” Clint said blowing out a breath, “If you keep hanging around me on base and they’re going to think I’m getting special treatment because of the Avengers.”

“Let them talk, it’s just talk.” Steve said with a sigh moving away to curl next to Clint on his side. 

“So they can talk trash about you but not me?” Clint asked mirroring his position. 

“Damn straight,” Steve said pulling the other man closer for a kiss. “No one talks down to my guy.”

“Your guy?” Clint asked with a small grin, “We going for labels now?” 

“Would you rather be my boyfriend?”

“No, I like it.” Clint said snuggling into Steve’s arm with a happy hum.


	16. Chapter 16

#  Ch. 16

 

Steve forced himself out of the hot water fighting a yawn. Since the praying mantis attack his sleep had been nonexistent except for the nights Clint stayed with him. The archer had started dropping by at one or two in the morning to drag him out for coffee or to the roof to eat take out when the nightmares got to be too much. The only nights he slept at all were when they curled together after a nightmare or Clint stayed awake to shake him out of his dreams.

                He scooped up the latest black book from Jarvis and spent an hour practicing American Sign Language in the mirror. He wanted to surprise Clint with his growing fluency but the agent had been in and out of the tower on missions for Shield the last few weeks. The op he’d been planning for had been shelved until the rest of the soldiers could be spared from other missions.

“Jarvis?”

“How may I assist you, Captain Rogers?”

“Do you make books like these for anyone else?”

“No one else in the tower has requested material in the variety of subjects you have researched. Do you believe the others may find similar books useful?”

“Yes, I know Clint reads a lot in the downtime during his missions on a wide range of subjects and Bruce is constantly printing out research articles to read.” Steve said with a smile remembering last week when the cleaning staff had been forced to ask Bruce to organize the mess of paperwork in his lab and Steve had been wrangled to help move the boxes of papers to Bruce’s floor. “Heck, you could probably sell some of the ones you made for me, it was impossible to follow the books I’d tried ordering before you started printing the black books.”

“I will look into the possible options, however perhaps shelves could be added to the common level for a tower collection allowing anyone to borrow a book as needed.”

“That would be great, Jarvis. I was wondering if we could do something similar for Bruce. Maybe put all his journals and articles into books somehow?”

“It should be possible.” Jarvis said sounding like he was working on the idea as the talked, “I have most of the articles Dr. Banner has printed and downloaded since his arrival to the tower and can sort by subject into reasonable volumes. I will have a small number printed to see if Dr. Banner is receptive to the idea.”

“Thanks, Jarvis.” Steve said with a sigh, shelving the finished book, “Would you move the ones I’ve already read downstairs once the shelves are ready? It’ll at least save you from having to reprint new copies.”

“I shall, I am reviewing footage of Agent Barton and do not currently have access to his electronic devices to run a similar search so I can’t determine a pattern to his searches or reading habits beyond what is in his Shield file under education.”

“He speaks several languages and we’ve talked about books and classes he’s taken. I think he’s just used to hiding things that are personal given his profession. I’ll ask him when he gets back.” Steve said with a sigh, he wasn’t going to try explaining Clint’s reasons for hiding his intelligence when he barely understood it himself.

“I’ll look into the matter further, Captain Rogers.” Jarvis said his voice changing from speaker to speaker as the Captain moved through the tower on his way to the gym.

“Don’t put too much effort into it, it was just a thought.”

“Of course, would you like some music while you work out?”

“Thanks, Jarvis. Whatever you want to play is fine.”

                Jarvis watched with a tiny fraction of a processor while Steve worked out, soft jazz playing in the background. Jarvis was built to be a learning machine and interacting with the Avengers was constantly forcing him to stretch and expand his subroutines. While keeping an eye on each of the occupants he considered how he could gather more information on the more clandestine of his charges.

                So far he’d mostly tried to respect his charges privacy but Sir had asked for access to Shield files on his team members allowing Jarvis to start collecting information on a wider scope. He left tiny programs in the Shield programs to alert him to files dealing with any of the Avengers. That meant he received a message when Agent Barton checked into the New York Shield base after his plane landed and ignored his orders to report to medical.

                He tracked the limping agent to a nearby parking deck, eventually he exited slowly making his way towards the tower on a motorcycle. Jarvis had tracked the deterioration of Captain Rogers’ sleep patterns since Agent Barton’s departure and knew the agent himself seemed to function better while in daily contact with the Captain.

                While he was still working on his understanding of such concepts as romantic relationships and love, it was clear the two men functioned better together than apart. As he’d been assigned caretaker of the tower and its occupants, their wellbeing was a priority. He would just have to find a way for the two men to cohabitate more often.

“I apologize for the interruption, Captain Rogers.” Jarvis said cutting the music, “I thought you might like to know that Agent Barton is on his way to his rooms.”

“Really? Thanks, Jarvis.” Steve said visibly relieved, Clint’s mission had run a week longer than planned and he’d started to worry. “Do you know if he’s eaten yet?”

“I have not asked however I would hazard to guess he has not. Would you like me to place an order?”

“Yeah, that Chinese place he likes. Enough for both of us, please.” Steve said with a nod, “I’ll bring it up when it arrives.”

“Very good, I will notify you when they enter the lobby.”

                Steve quickly cleaned up the gym and headed to his floor. He showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt that Clint had talked him into buying. The archer was normally good at schooling his features but Steve had caught him staring when he was talking with the sales clerk while trying everything on.

                He gathered up the box of Chinese food under one arm and hit the elevator button for Clint’s floor. He hoped the man wasn’t too tired from his mission to talk for a while. The door clicked open before he could knock but Steve just sighed and muttered a thanks to Jarvis before nudging the door closed behind him.

                The lights had been left low so Steve set the Chinese in the kitchen and wandered deeper into the darkened rooms. Maybe Clint had a migraine? He’d had one or two since moving to the tower and light tended to make them worse once one hit.

                Clint stood illuminated in the bathroom door, arm raised and body contorted as he used a staple gun on a gash along his side. He grunted as each staple went in making Steve wince. Bruises covered a good bit of the archer’s side and back as well showing abrasions and small cuts as he twisted to reach the wound. Steve couldn’t stop the shocked sound as he took in the wound and Clint jerked as he focused on the super soldier.

“You didn’t go to medical I take it?” Steve said as lightly as he could, ignoring the gun that was shoved back under a towel as he stepped forward into the light and leaned against the bathroom doorframe.

“I never go to medical.” Clint said flatly his agent mask fully in place as he went back to his task.

“Anything I can help with?” Steve asked mildly moving back into the bedroom to pull out a pair of sweats for Clint to change into.

“No.” Clint grunted starting to apply cream, a bandage sitting waiting to one side to be applied next.

“Alright, you know what you can handle. I brought food if you’re hungry.” Steve said before moving out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him, not waiting on a response.

                Steve had already started eating and turned on some mindless movie on low to play in the background when Clint shuffled in. He got up and fetched a beer, popping the top careful of his enhanced strength. He set it at Clint’s normal spot without comment going back to his own chair and starting to eat.

                Clint eyed him warily clearly expecting some backlash from his actions but he slowly took the food and beer Steve had laid out. They ate in silence. Steve cleaned up once Clint pushed his last carton away, watching in silence as the super soldier moved around his kitchen with the ease of habit.

“Aren’t you going to say something? Fuss at me to take better care of myself?” Clint finally snapped, clearly fed up with the growing tension.

“Would you have went to medical if it was something you couldn’t handle?”

“Or Bruce.” Clint muttered with a nod watching as Steve finished and moved into the living room to sprawl across the couch.

“If you’ve managed this long as a Shield agent then you know what works for you.” Steve said with a shrug taking a sip of his beer, “I just wanted to check that you got back and make sure you ate something. I can leave if you want.”

“You don’t have to leave.” Clint said with a frown curling up with a wince in a chair next to the TV.

“What do you normally do after a bad mission?”

“It depends who I’m with,” Clint said with an aborted shrug, “Natasha would make sure me and Phil are okay before cleaning weapons and keeping watch. If she was injured Phil or I did the same.”

“Do you want me to keep watch so you can get some sleep?” Steve offered glancing over at the frowning man.

“You’d do that?”

“If you needed it,” Steve said with a sigh, “I know I have enough issues sleeping, missions or not.”

“You don’t have to stay just ‘cause I have a few times.” Clint said stiffly getting up and shuffling to his room.

“That’s not why I’m offering.” Steve said with a huff following and watching as Clint slowly eased himself into bed, the long sleeves and pants hid his injuries and scars making it look like he was simply sick or recovering from the flu.

“I’m going to bed,” Clint said with a grunt, “Stay if you want to.”

Steve waited a long moment to see if the man would say more but he lay ridged in the bed, ignoring him.

“I’m going back to my floor since you don’t seem to want me here.” Steve said turning off the light, “I missed you while you were gone and worried when the mission ran long but I didn’t do anything because I know you’re a competent agent, but I missed you and wanted you back. I’ll talk to you in the morning if you’re up to it.”

                Clint rolled over onto his back and cursed once he heard the door close. He was pretty sure he wanted a lot more than the Captain did from their relationship at this point. Sure, they’d sucked and jerked each other off a few times but mostly they were friends. Clint didn’t think he could stand the tease of a partial relationship with Steve. Steve missed his friend, not the partner and lover Clint wanted to be.

 

***

                The next morning Clint changed his bandages after his shower and ate a quick breakfast debating his options. He needed to talk to Steve. He wasn’t sure he could push away the growing affection he felt for the man but he could distance himself if Steve needed it.

                He had just decided to track the Captain down when the Avengers alarm sounded. Cursing he stripped off his shirt and changed into his armor as fast as he could. Steve, Tony, and Bruce were waiting at the Quinjet when he reached the flight deck.

“Mount up, Legolas. We have possible aliens spotted.” Tony said watching as Clint stowed his weapons and did a quick check of the back of the jet make sure the wheels were clear.

“Where are we headed?” he asked moving into the cockpit and starting a lightning fast flight check, he waited for Steve to protest his presence but the man stayed silent.

“Jarvis is sending the coordinates, I’ll make my own way.” Tony said giving the archer a final long look before slamming his helmet closed and jetting out the back hatch as Clint lifted off, Steve closing the hatch behind him.

“Do we have any more information than ‘Aliens’?” Clint asked glancing back at Bruce who was fiddling with a tablet while Steve pulled out and stowed gear they might need, making sure both his and Clint’s go bags were packed.

“Fuzzy purple thigs that are eating cattle and attacking anything that gets close. They ate an armored truck from the National Guard, thankfully there were no casualties.” Steve rattled off.

“Numbers, strengths, weaknesses?”

“The military shelled them already and it didn’t seem to faze them much, last count had them at a dozen.”

“Are we using the Hulk?”

“Only if what we can do is shrugged off. He’s still out backup option.” Steve said glancing back at the fidgeting scientist with a small smile meant to reassure that didn’t seem to relax anyone.

“Plan of attack?”

“Distance weapons first, then we try to single one out and try a multipronged attack.”

“And we go for the heavy barrage after that, if that fails the hulk is our nuclear option.” Tony said over the coms.

“Sounds like a plan.” Clint muttered concentrating on locking himself into a mission headspace.

                Phil hated when Natasha and Clint compartmentalized to get a mission done but it went with the job. Clint had been told before that his expressionless face during a mission was unnerving but Natasha had ranked it as an asset most of the time since he could also lock himself into a certain framework for missions where he needed to react in certain ways.

                He shoved all his confusion and need into a box and let the mission and flying center him. He could deal with it later, now he needed the laser focus he was known for. Everything else could wait. The fuzzy purple cow like things were chewing through a tank when they arrived.

“They look like giant Scottish cows if those came the size of a tank and purple. What are we calling these… things?” Clint asked wincing even as the words came out, Tony didn’t disappoint.

“Fuzzy purple people eaters?” Tony asked with a snicker while even Bruce groaned at that as the first strike from Ironman produced no reaction.

“Pop culture?” Steve asked in a resigned tone while pushing Bruce down the ramp and towards a group of Shield scientists.

“We’ll explain later, Cap.” Tony said while Clint locked down the jet before heading for the tallest nearby tree he could see, not exactly tall enough for his liking.

“Might have issues with extreme long range if I can’t get some height.” Clint huffed climbing as fast as he could with two full quivers and a pack full of gear.

“Need a lift, Legolas?” Tony asked hovering to one side for long enough that Clint could give him the finger.

“Try something else, Ironman.” Steve ordered over the coms, Clint wincing as he was caught in the backwash of his repulsors making his hearing aids squeal with feedback.

“Lasers it is, Honey Bear.”

                Steve grunted as he caught a ricochet of his shield but the one he’d hit turned to wander his direction. He kept hitting it trying to pull it further away from the group. Clint tried a few explosive arrows as well speeding it up a bit.

“Head this way, Ironman. We have one singled out.”

“I see it.” Tony huffed, “Whatever these things are made up we need to patent it, they’re eating through everything I can toss at them.”

                An hour later Clint had found their weakness, targeting their horns, and the strange animals had been dealt with without needing the Hulk to Bruce’s relief. Clint helped the Shield crews with clean up while Steve and the others debriefed with the scientists and Agent Morgan, their current handler for Shield missions. On the flight back they got to listen to “One eyed, one horned, flying purple people eaters” and watch the look of utter confusion on Steve’s face as he read from a tablet about the song and similar pop culture references.

“You have a minute to talk?” Steve asked when they finally got back to the tower, Tony and Bruce already claiming the elevator and leaving the two of them in the garage.

“Yeah,” Clint said scrubbing a hand through his sweat soaked hair, “Might as well.”

“Let’s go to my floor.” Steve said gesturing for Clint to follow him into the elevator that had returned.

“Welcome back, Gentlemen. Is there anything you need before you turn in?” Jarvis asked as he brought the elevator to Steve’s floor.

“No thanks, Jarvis. I’m good.” Clint said in a monotone, mind clearly not on the conversation.

“I think we’re good, thanks, Jarvis.” Steve agreed quickly turning on a few lights and the radio out of habit.

Clint wandered to the couch collapsing on one end with a groan. Steve wanted to ask about his injuries but knew it would just start another fight. He got them both beers and settled on the other end of the couch waiting to see what the other man would do.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Clint asked picking up his beer and rolling the bottle between his hands.

“I didn’t like how thing ended last night, I don’t think you did either.”

“Yeah, I should have stayed up and talked but I figured we’d have time today.” Clint said with a snort, “You’d think I’d know better after being with Shield so long.”

“I take it most of the people you’ve been with didn’t like you not going to medical?”

“More like all of them but Phil and I had a system. If I could patch myself up he’d let me if he was allowed the check me over the next morning or send me to medical if I got worse or spiked a fever or something.”

“Would you be okay with something like that here? Maybe letting Jarvis scan you or Bruce check you over at least?”

“I’m used to taking care of myself, Cap. I’ve survived this long.”

“Alright, I get that but I’d at least like to have one person confirm you don’t have internal bleeding before you start stapling yourself back together. Can we agree on that?”

“You won’t bench me?”

“Not as long as you can do your job. If you break an arm or leg it might be a different story,” Steve said with a shrug, “but as long as you can do your job and not put the team or civilians in danger I see no reason to bench you.”

“I wouldn’t do that!” Clint snapped snapping the bottle down on the coffee table and shoving himself up to pace near the windows.

“I know, that’s why I didn’t protest you being on the mission today. I knew you’d bench yourself if you thought for a second you’d not be able to perform to the best of your abilities.”

“Thank you.” Clint said stiffly leaning against the back of the couch for a moment.

“What else has you worked up? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this distracted.” Steve asked twisting so he could press a hand against Clint’s arm.

“I don’t know what you’re expecting.” Clint finally said pulling away and going back to sit on the couch next to Steve.

“What do you mean?”

“Between us, are we friends, friends with benefits? What? Because right now I don’t know and I haven’t exactly had the best track record with relationships, much less relationships with coworkers.”

“Well, yes we’re friends but I’d hoped we were more than that.” Steve said slowly watching the other man pull his legs up and seem to curl in on himself. “Did you want to only be friends?”

“No, I just don’t know how far to take it.” Clint said with a shrug, “I feel like I’m teetering on a wire and either way is a long fall I’m not sure I can make it through, I want too much.”

“We can take it slow if that’s what you need, I can back off.” Steve said, watching the stiffness in Clint’s shoulders.

“That’s what I was going to offer, I thought you only wanted to be friends.” Clint said with a bitter laugh, “What are we doing here, Cap? Just fooling around and killing time or is it more?”

“I want more but I didn’t want to rush you.” Steve said slowly reaching out and tugging one of Clint’s hands free to hold it in his. “If you need space I’ll give it to you but I’d really rather have you move in here with me.”

“Move in?” Clint repeated blinking at the taller man in shock.

“Only if you want to, the fact is I really missed you the last few weeks and I’d like to come home after a long mission and find you waiting for me sometimes, to do the same for you and not as a friend, Clint. I want you in my bed at night any way you’re willing to let me have you.” He said pressing a kiss to Clint’s bruised knuckles.

“You’re sure?” Clint asked sounding suddenly fragile making Steve realize how overwhelmed the archer was feeling.

“I want you with me, Clint, but you don’t have to if you want space.”

“I’d like that.” Clint said slowly, “Moving in, I’d like that. I just wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted. You seemed to want to be friends more.”

“I never wanted to be just friends with you, Clint.” Steve said with a blush, “but if that was all I could have I’d have been okay with it.”


	17. Chapter 17

#  Chapter 17

 

                Clint prowled through the warehouse Steve at his side. The op had went immediately sideways when the terrorists pulled out some kind of ray gun and started shooting indiscriminately into a crowded market. They’d waded into the battle fighting side by side while Steve snapped orders to the rest of the Shield team.

                The rest of their team was cleaning up that mess while Steve and he secured the mostly deserted terrorist base in several rundown buildings and warehouses on the edge of town. Clint knew he should be exhausted and pissed at how the mission had went but he was still riding the high of fighting side by side with Steve. It was like fighting with Natasha, an instinctive movement that used both of their bodies to the best advantage.

                After discovering explosives in one building they’d went through the rest at speed calling in support to move evidence as they took out the remaining terrorists and scientists that put up a resistance. After his days in the circus and as a merc it was habit to conserve his bullets and use every weapon he came across, Steve was the same snatching up knives and handguns from downed soldiers as they moved.

                There was no chatter on the coms. They didn’t need to speak beyond short hand signals as body after body fell. Steve left the disarming of the bombs to Clint, a skill he’d learned working on a bomb disposal team for another mission. By the time they wrapped things up and were on the transport back, a local team dealing with the rest of the cleanup, Clint had never felt so centered in his own skin. He wanted Steve to climb into his skin and burn the feeling into his soul, this was how he’d always wanted to be.

                Steve tapped his leg giving him a small look of concern. They were both still flecked with blood and grim but Clint flashed him a quick smile before going back to writing up his mission report. With the cluster-fuck the mission had turned into they would be stuck debriefing for hours before they were released to head back to the tower.

                Having Steve fall asleep against his shoulder was a bonus at this point. His soft snuffled snores and warm weight against Clint’s side were worth staring down the rest of the cabin, daring them to say anything. He finished his report and sent what messages he could to get things wrapped up before they landed putting off waiting Steve until the last minute.

                The debrief went surprisingly quickly once Fury stalked in and started demanding answers. Clint had worked with Phil too long to get ruffled at the display and helped Steve layout exactly where their intel had gone wrong and what steps they’d taken to compensate. Six hours later Fury gave them a nod and a week leave with a gruff, “Good work, dismissed.”

                Clint stalked through the halls to his bike, Steve following behind looking amused at the agents that scattered at his approach. He was still in his mission head space and couldn’t seem to shake it. Steve clung to his back as they wove through the early morning traffic like a bird of prey swooping its way home and Clint let the warmth of his body ease the muscles the debrief had wrenched tight.

                He wasn’t expecting Steve to slam him into the wall as soon as the doors of the elevator closed. Only the serum saved him from a broken wrist before Clint melted into the cage of his arms and accepted the deep kiss with a groan.

“Tell me you want this,” Steve said pulling back and leaving Clint gasping as the elevator arrived on Steve’s floor, “I’ll back off if you say no but right now I want to take you apart, tease you until you beg me to stop and make you scream.”

“Fuck.” Clint whined pulling the soldier down for a kiss, he felt poised on the edge of some immense drop, walking the thread thin tightrope and somehow knowing even if he fell, Steve would catch him.

“Tell me what you want.” Steve ordered pulling him stumbling from the elevator, “Jarvis, full privacy please.”

“I want you.” Clint said shivering as Steve slowly stripped him down mouthing at the nicks and bruises he uncovered.

“What do you want me to do?” Steve asked leading Clint to the shower and quickly striping himself and joining him under the spray.

“Steve,” Clint gasped arching as Steve crowded him against the tile biting at his lips in a harsh kiss.

“What do you want?” Steve asked pulling back and grabbing a washcloth to slowly start cleaning them both off.

“You, I want you to fuck me.” Clint whined, shivering in the hot spray as Steve pressed a kiss to a bruise on one shoulder, running a soapy washcloth down his back and around his hips to swipe firmly along his balls and up the shaft of his cock.

“We don’t have to.” Steve said pulling back for a moment, Clint stole the washcloth and started washing Steve’s chest teasing his nipples in retaliation with one hand before ducking into bite and suck.

“I want it.”

“Alright, what do you want?” Steve said voice low and rough.

“Let’s finish showering, I’ll clean myself up a bit and then I’ll join you in bed.” Clint said pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips only for Steve to catch the back of his head and make the next kiss long and deep.

“Sounds good.” Steve said ducking into another kiss before stealing the washcloth back to quickly scrub himself down before ducking out and starting to dry off.

                Clint leisurely washed himself preening a bit as Steve’s eyes kept straying back to his body under the spray. They were both already hard with anticipation but Clint knew he’d be behind the curve once he cleaned himself out and prepped himself a bit. It took a bit sure soon enough he was dropping a bottle of lube next to Steve’s lazy sprawl on the bed.

“How do you want me?”

“On your back okay?” Steve asked grabbing the bottle and moving to one side, “I want to see you.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Clint panted stroking himself as he watched Steve pull on a condom and lube himself with a few quick strokes.

“Need any more prep?” He asked sliding in between Clint’s spread knees and circling a slick finger around his entrance.

“Fuck, no.” Clint whined as a finger slid in quickly joined by a second, Steve teased him grazing his prostate while pressing kisses to one knee.

“Beautiful.” He murmured pulling away and leaning forward to capture Clint’s lips in a deep lingering kiss.

“You’re going to wreck me.” Clint groaned, shivering as Steve slowly rested his body weight against him rutting gently, running his cock long Clint’s balls and entrance.

“What do you need?” Steve pressed, kissing his way along Clint’s chest and nipping at his nipples before sucking one into his mouth to the sound of Clint’s choked off moans.

“Shit, want you in me, please, Steve.” Clint groaned flexing his arms like he wanted to force the issue before Steve grabbed his wrists and pressed them into the mattress.

“Be still,” He crooned, “I want to see you fall apart, I want to hear every sound you make, make you scream for it.”

“Fuck.” He moaned shivering for an instant as he fought against his instinctive need to escape the hold.

“Alright?” Steve asked letting go and backing off while the smaller man fought with himself.

“Don’t hold me down.” Clint bit out, “Just not that.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said with a frown stroking a hand along his side, “Do you need a minute?”

“No, come here.” Clint said tugging him back down into a kiss.

                They kissed and touched gently for a while, Steve groaning at the sight of Clint laid out before him flushed and moaning. He ducked down and licked a stripe up the other man’s cock making his entire body jerk. He tugged off the condom and tossed it aside, they could try it later, right now he wanted to make Clint fall apart under him.

                He sucked and kissed until Clint writhed and bucked, shivering as he fought off his orgasm. Steve slowly eased his weight on top of Clint but the earlier panic was absent as Clint wrapped his legs and arms around him pulling his down until there wasn’t a hint of space between them. Steve rolled his hips clutching at the man under him, hissing as Clint started moving with him, their cocks sliding against each other.

“That’s it, want to see you come.” Steve groaned biting lightly at Clint’s shoulder. “Want to see your face.”

                Clint came with a shout, Steve not far behind him. Steve wiped them off once he got his breath back and spooned his lover. Clint lay limp and content in his arms, letting him take care of him.

“Sorry, we didn’t…” Clint murmured twisting to press his face into Steve chest and tangle their legs together.

“It’s fine,” Steve murmured pressing a kiss to Clint’s temple, “You enjoy it anyway?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, that’s all I care about. I’m sorry I triggered you, I won’t try to hold you down.”

“Good.” Clint hummed, “You going to sleep?”

“In a bit, you sleep.”

“Okay.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

#  Chapter 18

 

                Steve stalked through the halls heading for the medical wing, the hardened agents and soldiers that scattered before his bloody uniform and shield were ignored. Normally he would have been amused at how it mirrored the last time he’d left base with Clint but now it just made him scowl making them give way even faster. He couldn’t help but think this was somehow his fault, Bucky showing up and getting triggered by Hydra during a mission to take out one of their higher ups had made a difficult mission impossible and left all of them injured in some way.

He needed to see Clint. He’d somehow ignored the medics rushing to the half-buried archer when the building he was on gave way. He’d finished the mission himself, taking the head off the cowing Hydra goon. Bucky was in Shield custody with Natasha, her arm in a sling from a shot to one shoulder, keeping watch while he checked on their team mate. Tony was handling Bruce getting back to the tower and taken care of after his transformation so that was one less thing he had to deal with, he’d at least made sure the engineer had his broken leg set before sending him on. Pepper would have to deal with trying to keep the man sitting down long enough for his injury to heal, right now Steve had other priorities.

“Excuse me, Captain.” Fury said stepping out and blocking the elevator, “A word?”

“No.” Steve said flatly reaching around him and hitting the button for the elevator.

“Excuse me!?”

“I don’t have time for your bullshit right now, Director.” Steve said tugging off his gloves and glancing at the blood beneath his nails. “I’m going to check on Barton.”

“You took the head off of a known politician with your shield,” Fury snapped, “There has to be a discussion on how we want to present that, the media saw it happen. We can’t just wave this away!”

“I wasn’t the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” Steve said pushing the Director away from the opening doors, “People die in war.”

“We aren’t in a sanctioned war!” Fury snapped stepping in the elevator with Steve watching as he hit the button for the medical floor.

“You wanted me to keep up the good fight. That’s what we’ve been doing.” Steve said calmly, “People were dying and sometimes you have to sacrifice one life to save many. I’d rather make sure it’s one of the enemy than one of ours.”

“We can’t have the media thinking you’re a bunch on hired killers!”

“Then you shouldn’t have put three killers on a team of heroes.” Steve said raising an eyebrow and leaving the Director sputtering as he stepped out and headed down the hall.

                Thankfully the Director left it at that and he was alone as he searched the medical floors for his lover and team mate. Finally he was left waiting in the observation bay above where Clint was having surgery. He couldn’t make himself watch so he found a few towels and spent the next four hours cleaning his and Clint’s gear. Natasha joined him after the first hour and started stripping and cleaning her own weapons while they waited.

                Clint would have loved the look in the surgeon’s face when he came in to inform them they were moving the patient up to the intensive care ward. They gathered everything up silently and moved to Clint’s room to settle in to wait. Seeing Clint pale against the sheets and covered in wire and tubes made his breath catch.

“He’s been through worse.” Natasha said putting away the last gun, “He’s stronger then he looks.”

“I know he’s strong,” Steve said with a sigh forcing himself to throw away the polishing cloth for his shield and put it against the wall, “I just think it hit me that he’s not enhanced like us, he’s completely normal running around with super heroes.”

“And look at what he’s accomplished,” she said with a smirk, “he’s completely human with no special serums or implants, running around with bow and arrow, fighting alongside gods.”

“He’s strong.” Steve muttered to himself with a small nod.

“He’s determined.” She said with a snort, “He’s the most stubborn man I’ve ever met but he suffered to get where he is and he’s determined to make something good out of a life most people would have used as an excuse to give up. He’ll get up over and over again no matter his injuries if it means saving someone else pain, pick fights with bullies because he knows what it’s like to be the victim, yet he doesn’t see his own worth at times.”

“People tell you you’re worthless long enough you eventually start to believe it no matter what you’ve accomplished.” Steve said with a small grin, “I used to drive Bucky to drink picking fights and trying to prove myself useful.  I never accepted the label but I sure got told it often enough.”

“You two are alike in many ways. I’m glad you’ve become friends, he needs more people on his side.” Natasha said with a nod, “but if you ever hurt him I’ll find a way to kill even a super soldier.”

“This my shovel talk?” He asked glancing over at her with a frown.

“Does it need to be?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

“I want him in my life any way I can get him, he’s the one who decides how that works.” Steve said standing and picking up the scrubs someone had brought for him to change into, “I know you’re close to him and I won’t fight that. He needs you to have his back in ways I can’t.”

“Good,” She said picking up a magazine and frowning at the cover with distaste, “Go change, he won’t want to wake up and see you covered in blood either.”

“Yeah,” Steve said with a sigh turning and opening the door to the small bathroom.

Pepper arrived after a few hours and made sure they had clean clothes that actually fit, food, and a bag of necessities for Clint whenever he woke up. Natasha took her bag and disappeared, returning an hour later in clean civilian clothes and immaculate hair even if her arm was still in a sling. Pepper left not long after assuring them that she would handle Tony and make sure Bruce knew what was going on with Clint.

Steve happily changed into a pair of his own jeans and a hoodie before settling down to work on his report on the tablet Pepper had brought. Natasha was dozing on the cot to one side while he took watch for a few hours. Neither really planned to leave until they were sure Clint was out of the woods. They wouldn’t know for sure until he woke up and that might be a few days considering the damage.

The doctors were very optimistic but he’s suffered several bad breaks and a lot of cuts and contusions on his back and shoulders. One leg was in a cast and his chest and back in a brace while they waiting to see how his spine looked once the swelling went down. The doctors were muttering about using something called healing factor on him but that apparently took the direct authorization of the Director and hadn’t been used in years.

Steve was tempted to offer his blood but didn’t want Shield monitoring Clint while it worked its healing powers on him. He’d done it once before for one of the commandoes that had taken a bullet to the stomach. He’d been the only O-negative soldier with the unit so they rigged it up and got a pint or two in him hoping to keep him stable until they could reach the convoy. Instead the soldier had healed over the course of ten hours until you couldn’t even tell he’d been shot.

                Mostly they were worried about the head trauma. He’d been unconscious when the dug him out of the rubble and wasn’t responding like he should even with the drugs they were pumping into him. As the days ticked by everyone was getting more anxious and worried, if he didn’t wake up soon there was a good chance he never would.

“Bruce, you have a second?” Steve asked when the doctor finished going over Clint’s vitals when he got back in the room from some kind of scan.

“Sure,” Bruce said with a nod following Steve out of the room. He raised an eyebrow when Steve activated the jammer Tony had given him. “That important?”

“Just something I don’t want getting out.” Steve said with a grimace, “I know you’ve drawn blood before for your tests, can you pull a larger amount?”

“Like a pint or more?” Bruce asked rubbing his hands together, “Well, yes but who’s going to be giving the blood? I take it’s for Clint? Mine’s out of the question, I’m afraid.”

“I was thinking of mine. I’ve seen it heal soldiers during the war. We gave a commando about two pints and he healed from a gut shot in hours.”

“And you don’t want Shield knowing about it.”

“No, we kept it out of the reports during the war. Peggy was afraid they’d start trying to capture me and bleed me dry.” Steve said with a sigh. “She wasn’t entirely sure even the Army wouldn’t have at least tried to experiment on me given the information, I don’t trust Shield not to at least try given they already have samples from when I was in the ice.”

“I’ll see if we can get him moved to the tower, he’s technically stable even if he still needs round the clock care. Tony can arrange that. Give me a bit to see if we can manage it, if not we might just have to tell them we want to try and experimental compound.”

“Thank you.” Steve said heaving a deep breath in relief.

“You’ve seen it work before and I think we’re starting to get to the point of trying anything if he doesn’t wake up soon.” Bruce said frowning, “Give me a few hours.”

                It was almost two days before they managed to convince Shield to allow them to move Clint to the tower medical floor. Steve was pretty sure they only allowed it because the thought the archer was going home to die and it got the rest of the team out of the ICU. They had all gotten pretty annoying as the days passed pestering the doctors for some kind of treatment or any possible improvement in his condition.

“Okay, what exactly are you guys hoping for?” Natasha snapped once the move was complete and they’d gotten the Shield doctors to leave.

“One second,” Tony said holding up a hand, “Jarvis?”

“I’ve completed the scan and there are no listening or tracking devices of any kind in the medical floor.”

“Seriously?” Natasha snapped scowling at him.

“Hey, don’t blame me! This one’s on the Captain!” Tony said holding up his hands in surrender as Bruce pulled out the bags and tubing they needed.

“I asked that it be kept quiet, Bruce and Tony are helping.” Steve said holding out his arm so that Bruce could find a vein.

“You think giving Clint blood will help?” She asked with a frown watching as they started to fill the first bag.

“I’m O-negative, during the war I gave blood to one of the commandos and he healed from a gut wound in hours. It’ll help but I didn’t want Shield turning me and Clint into one big experiment if they found out.”

“What are we saying happened if it does work and he’s up and walking tomorrow?”

“We say I invented an experimental compound that we decided to try. Tony’s already drawn up a contract in case they decide they want the formula.” Bruce said unhooking the first bag and attaching the next, “Anything I create while in the tower belongs to Stark Industries, they have first rights of experimentation and research.”

“What will it do in the long term? Do you know?”

“Logan went missing in the war. He fought with us for about six months before the crash, I checked when I got out of the ice but no one ever found him. He might have gotten some benefits from the serum or had no changes at all beyond the initial healing.”

“So we’ll need to watch Clint just in case.” She said with a frown, “Bruce, you’ll be able to monitor him, test him if needed?”

“If anything I think the healing will use all the serum in the blood we’re giving him so there shouldn’t be any long term effects but we’ll test him once a month for a while to be sure.” Bruce said moving to the bed and starting to hook up the first bag before turning back to Natasha, “Technically you’re down as his next of kin in his chart, are you okay with trying this?”

“Yes,” She said after a pause, “Shield sent him here to die, we need to try something.”

“Well, here goes.” Bruce said releasing the clamp and letting the blood start to drip its way down Clint’s IV line.

“How many bags are you taking?” She asked watching as Bruce changed out the second bag.

“Three, we can always draw more if he needs it later.” He said hanging the second bag next to the first so it would be ready to run. “The third bag I’ll refrigerate until it’s ready to be run in.”

“How long did the healing take last time?” She asked moving to sit next to Steve.

“Twelve hours or so.” Steve said scanning his eyes over the vitals displayed to one side.

“Then we wait.” She said biting at a nail.

“We wait.” Bruce agreed, unhooking the last bag and removing the needle from Steve’s arm.

                They watched as Clint’s vitals slowly improved as the blood dripped in. The hours ticked by and the third bag of blood was hung at the six hour mark. Steve, Bruce, and Natasha settled in for the duration but Tony couldn’t sit still that long and disappeared to his workshop after a few hours. Jarvis updated them on the healing bones the next morning when he ran scans to verify the slow healing they hoped was really happening. They drew and ran one more bag of blood to make sure the healing would continue as his bruises slowly faded before their eyes.

It was another two days before Clint started to respond the way he should when Bruce examined him, he even opened his eyes briefly making everyone heave a sigh of relief. His bones had healed completely and even some of the previous old breaks had remodeled to stronger, healthy bone. The swelling and bruising was down and he seemed to have feeling in his limbs and reacted to touch and pain like he should. Now they were just stuck waiting for him to wake up, Steve got up to stretch and nearly fell when a quiet “Hey.” sent him spinning back to face the bed.

“You’re wake.” He said with a grin stepping forward and scooping up one of Clint’s hands, squeezing back gently when it tightened in his grasp.

“We win?” Clint asked glancing sleepily around as Natasha came forward and sat at his other side, Bruce checking the IVs they still had running with fluids and nutrients.

“We won but Fury had some choice words with your man.” Natasha said with a snort, “The rumor at Shield is that Steve told Fury to fuck off.”

“I didn’t say that.” Steve muttered, his cheeks heating when Clint grinned, “I just said I was busy and things like that happened during war.”

“Have to find the recording.” Clint said accepting the cup Natasha offered him with his fee hand not letting go of Steve.

“I already tried, Fury must have deleted it.” Natasha said with a snort, “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good, just tired. How long was I out?” Clint asked handing the empty cup back.

“Almost a month.” Bruce said pushing him back into the pillows when he tried to sit up, “Take it slow.”

“A month?” Clint squawked, “Is that why I’m at the tower?”

“We asked that you be brought here when you didn’t wake up after three weeks.” Steve said slowly, “I asked Tony and Bruce to make it happen.”

“What did you do?” Clint pressed tightening his grip on Steve’s hand and glancing between him and Natasha.

“We used Steve’s blood,” Natasha said pressing him back into the bed when he tried to sit up and protest, “He’d given blood before to a wounded soldier in the war and it healed him. He had to try, Hawk.”

“Well, it must have worked. I thought I was dead when the building came down, my line snapped before I could get clear. I had to have been at least ten stories up still.” Clint said glancing at Steve, “How bad was it?”

“Bad, the doctors were talking about permanent brain damage and paralysis when we brought you home.” Natasha said bluntly, “I know you feel okay but take it slow, we don’t know how the serum in Steve’s blood is going to affect you long term. Bruce is going to run tests every few weeks once you’re up and about to make sure you stay okay.”

“I feel fine, just tired.” Clint said with a shrug.

“Well, relax for a bit.” Steve said with small grin, “You gave us a scare and we reserve the right to spoil you for a few days. Let Bruce check you over and we’ll get you something to eat.”

“Alright,” Clint said subsiding back into the pillows Natasha was fussing with.

“Tomorrow you can start moving around and probably go back to your rooms.” Bruce said checking something on a tablet, “You’ve been basically healed for the last two days but I want to at least let the IV bags finish and have Jarvis run a few scans before you get up.”


	19. Chapter 19

#  Ch. 19

 

Steve had left Clint’s bedside every few days to check on Bucky while he was comatose but it would be months before Shield deemed him safe enough to wander outside of the base if he took the same timeline as Natasha’s deprogramming. For now Bucky was safer where he was until they could trust him not to slip back into his Winter Soldier mindset around civilians. Natasha was visiting as well and between them they’d got the man at least talking to the doctors trying to help him.

They spent the next week lazing around the tower letting Clint slowly get back into a routine. His normal workouts were fairly heavy so they made sure he started back light but within a few days he was pushing himself to see if things had changed. Mostly, it seemed that he’d been healed but not altered by the blood. He sparred with Natasha and she agreed that he was back at his normal speed and form, maybe a hair faster but not enough to make that much of a difference.

                Steve knew he was clinging a bit but after almost a month of worry and dread he was unwilling to let the archer out of his sight for long. Clint had already quietly moved to his floor long before the mission and thankfully no one but Natasha really seemed to notice that the Captain was more physical with the other man, touching him at times just to reassure himself that he really was healed. Clint didn’t seem bothered by it at least, leaning into the touches without batting an eye.

The rest of the tower found out about them a few days later when Clint crawled into his lap while they were watching a movie on the common level and decided he needed to thank Steve properly. They came up for air to Tony shrieking like a little girl and Bruce congratulating them with a bright blush. Thankfully beyond some light teasing the team accepted the relationship without any real change in the dynamics of the group.

Pepper however took it as her duty to prep them for the media fall out when their relationship hit the papers; she knew all too well how impossible it would be to hide long term. Eventually one of them would slip in public and it would be out, she wanted to make a public announcement but neither of them were ready for that. Technically they’d been together for four months but it still felt new and fragile.

                Steve wanted to announce his choice of partner to the world and damn their reactions but Clint wanted it to stay quiet. The media already was hounding the tower and its occupants thanks to the video that came out from the last mission. No one was publicly calling Captain America a murderer but the tabloids were coming damn close. The backlash of him coming out in a gay relationship would only fuel the idiots who were determined to prove the American icon was corrupt. Steve figured it would show he was as human as the next guy but even Natasha was hesitant when asked her opinion.

“Symbols are strange things.” She said slowly, “The American people have held you as the perfect soldier and man for seventy years. If you show them even you can love and bleed it corrupts the idea they’ve created. If you show them you’re human, then the symbolism no longer works.”

“Captain America’s the symbol,” Steve pressed, “Why can’t Steve Rogers be human?”

“Because in the eyes of the world, Steve Rogers ceased to exist once you stepped out of that machine. The only person they see is Captain America. Steve Rogers never existed.”

“Coulson would be rolling in his grave to hear you say that.” Clint said with a snort, “Not saying it’s wrong but some people knew about the real person behind the shield, not the comic book hero everyone tried to make him.”

“But the public never saw that.” Natasha said frowning, “That’s who is going to be commenting if you come out in a relationship with another man. They’re going to try and dig up every bad thing they can find on both of you.”

“Shield’s sealed most of my past,” Clint said with a shrug, “The most they might find is stuff from the orphanage or my parents.”

“What about Barney?” She pressed.

“What about him? He was a rogue CIA agent who died while trying to kill me for money. The fact that he was also my brother doesn’t really factor in.” Clint said with a shrug, “They can pull up whatever shit they like, Natasha. In the end it’s going to be ugly, I know that, no one’s going to want to see their hero with an deaf circus freak who works for a clandestine government agency they’ve never heard of. It’s going to hit the papers eventually, we can’t stop that.”

“As long as you’re both prepared.” She said pulling Clint into a quick hug, “I don’t want to see either of you hurt because of this. I’ll get with Pepper so she’s aware of the worst they might be able to dig up and be prepared to make statements if needed.”

“Never thought we’d be prepping to announce my boyfriend to the world.” Steve said with a snort tugging Clint closer and burying his face into the back of his neck and shoulder.

“You do know they might connect the relationship and Clint’s healing if it does get out.” Natasha said with a smirk, “Bet you ten someone asks if we’ve proven Steve’s cum is a known healing element.”

“Oh, god.” Steve groaned as Clint died laughing collapsing completely into his arms.

“Have a good night you two.” She said getting up and heading to the door while Clint gave her a wave goodbye still giggling.

“They can’t ask that.” Steve said as Clint twisted and straddled his lap.

“They probably will,” Clint said with a smirk nipping at the man’s jaw, “Want to do some research into the subject just in case?”

“Fuck, you’re such a tease.” He groaned catching Clint’s lip with his teeth before pulling him down for a kiss. “Where were you thinking of doing this research exactly?”

“Well, the bedroom would definitely be safer.” Clint said rolling his hips and feeling Steve’s erection pressing against his own while he mouthed at his collarbone.

“Bedroom it is.” Steve said wrapping his arms around Clint’s ass and standing with a grunt.

                They barely made it to the bedroom with Clint whispering exactly how he wanted to test out the super soldier’s strength next time. Steve bit at his neck in retaliation only for Clint to moan in his ear, arms and legs tightening around him as his hips bucked hard making Steve shudder. He lowered Clint to the bed and crawled on top even as Clint dragged his shirt off.

“We, need supplies.” Clint panted as Steve claimed a nipple, his fingers working on the man’s pants.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed forcing himself back and pulling Clint’s pants off with the motion. He groaned when he realized the man had went commando, his cock already stiff and leaking against one hip. “You’re going to kill me one day looking like that.”

“You’re overdressed.” Clint said taking the lube and starting to open himself up with one finger, “Leave the condom off, I want to feel you.”

“You’re sure?” Steve asked putting the two condoms he’d pulled out back and starting to strip.

“Yeah,” Clint panted adding more lube and a second finger.

“Tell me when you’re ready.” Steve murmured crawling into bed and pressing his body against Clint’s side making him whine as he leaned against him arching as he fingered himself open.

“Very ready,” Clint groaned pulling his fingers out and blinking as Steve wiped his hand down with a wet wipe before wiping his own hands clean of lube and sliding between Clint’s legs.

“What position?”

“Don’t care, want you in me.”

 

***

Tony was pushing for a dramatic monologue and reveal of the new and improved Hawkeye in the middle of a mission but in the end Clint simply walked in with the rest of the team when they all got called in for a meeting. Tony of course got the entire thing on video. Considering Hill dropped her pen and Sitwell choked on his coffee, they called it a success even if Fury didn’t show much of a reaction.


End file.
